In many cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some governments are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #overpopulation #governments #businesses #individuals #move #areas #trend

Nowadays, more and more

people

are migrating from small

town

Fix the agreement mistake

towns

show examples

cities

for better opportunities and

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

lifestyle.

However

cities

are facing several

issue

Change to a plural noun

issues

show examples

because of

Correct your spelling

overcrowding

show examples

over crowding

Correct your spelling

overcrowding

show examples

. To overcome

this

issue authorities are encouraging

people

and

businesses

to move out of

cities

to rural

areas

and

also

giving some benefits to them.

This

essay will describe the advantages of

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

steps. To being with, if

people

and

businesses

are moving out to rural

areas

, It will positively impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

many aspects.

First

of all,

cities

are less

crowed

Correct your spelling

crowded

show examples

and

cost

Correct article usage

the cost

show examples

of living will go down. Another advantage is,

businesses

Correct word choice

that businesses

show examples

will create new job

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

in rural

areas

, and

as a result

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

people

will willing to move to

cities

In addition

development

Correct article usage

the development

show examples

of rural

areas

will get faster. And finality there will be less burden on

municipality

Correct article usage

the municipality

show examples

and

overall

Add an article

the overall

show examples

entire country will

grows

Change the verb form

grow

show examples

, not only

cities

. Though, there will be some

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

like growth will be

horizontally

Replace the adverb

horizontal

show examples

. So, travel time will increase

as a result

goods

Correct the article-noun agreement

good

show examples

and transportation

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

will

also

increase.

Furthermore

initially

Add a comma

,initially

show examples

there will be

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

facilities available in rural

areas

However

this

disadvantage can gradually

decreases

Change the verb form

decrease

show examples

as more

people

and

businesses

are come

Change to the active voice

come

have come

show examples

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

areas

Fix the agreement mistake

area

show examples

. And, Government

are

Change the verb form

show examples

already working on

this

create

Change the verb form

creating

show examples

more roads for connectivity and school and hospitals and other facilities in

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

areas

. To conclude, overpopulation in

cities

is a real problem, and if government convince

businesses

and individuals to move to

rural

Add an article

the rural

show examples

area it will

benefits

Change the verb form

benefit

show examples

both

cities

and country area like

solve

Wrong verb form

solving

show examples

traffic and other issues and more job in

Add an article

the country

show examples

country side

Correct your spelling

countryside

show examples

, governments are already working on rural development plans to attract

people

and

businesses

Submitted by nic86 on Mon Jul 18 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many cities, problems related to overpopulation are becoming more common. Some governments are now encouraging businesses and individuals to move out of cities to rural areas. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think government should ban dangerous sports; others, however, believe that people should be free to do whatever they choose. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the last few decades there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media have no right to privacy. To what extent do you agree?

Modern medical science has made it possible to combat many diseases. This is one reason that people are living longer lives now than they did in the past. Discuss the effects this might have on society.

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?