Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

One of the consequences caused by not eating and drinking healthy food is having health

complication

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complications

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Moreover

, some individuals are worried

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about

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the fact that many meal and beverage industries are using too much

sugar

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show examples

their

products

this

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which

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will lead to disruption in fitness. I completely agree with the idea of giving

higher

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a higher

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price

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prices

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products

with more

sugar

Correct pronoun usage

them

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, so that

the

Correct article usage

apply

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society will think twice

buying

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about buying

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those. Manufactories know that many people are addicted to sweet foods and drinks,

this

Correct word choice

and this

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has resulted in

mass

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the mass

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selling of

products

with high contents of

sugar

. Unfortunately, consuming too much

sugar

will cause harm. If the level of

sugar

is great in

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the human’s

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human’s

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human

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body,

this

will damage our life because

sugar

is being converted into fat which resulted in obesity.

Furthermore

, the fat can enter the blood vessels,

then

the blood’s path will become narrow, and it will cause

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a problem

the problem

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problem

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problems

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in the heart circulation. In the end, a body that has greater amount

sugar

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of sugar

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will be very dangerous, as heart failure will occur. Even though most

persons

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people

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know those facts,

this

will not stop them to buy

products

they like as long as they can afford

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. If we set costly

price

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prices

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

some sugary foods and drinks,

this

way, people will consider not

to buy

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buying

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them due to economic

issue

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issues

show examples

. With

this

in mind, healthier

products

that contain less

sugar

will be more purchased. Obviously, the change of diet will have a positive effect in the future. In conclusion, I strongly opine sugary

products

should be charged more in order to

Correct your spelling

suppress

supress

Correct your spelling

suppress

the

Change the word

their

show examples

consumption of it in daily meals.

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With

show examples

this

method,

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

rate in society will increase, since we will have less access to unhealthy foods.

Submitted by serlyayus on Mon Jul 18 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

The growing number of refugees and displaced persons is a global concern. What measures can be taken to support these individuals and address the root causes of forced migration?

smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the wprld today. In the interest of the public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. Do you agree or disagree?

In spite of improvement in the healthcare by governments many people in developed countries are suffering from overweight and obesity. What are the causes of this and what other the impacts?

Topic: In many countries, the consumption of fast food is increasing, which is leading to health problems. Some people think that the government should tax fast food to reduce its consumption. To what extent do you agree or disagree?