IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of the cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #governments #industries #businesses #move #cities #areas
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Nowadays, the number of factories and companies in the urban areas grow rapidly as the high inquiries of the society. It has been a widespread argument that government should move their businesses to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sub-urban areas. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will try to identify the positive and the negative sides of
this
 topic. On the one hand, the disparity between urban and
sub-urban
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suburban
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 areas may be cut down as the development
centered
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centred
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to
Change preposition
on
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 both regions. It will certainly diminish the gap
of
Change preposition
between
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 the poorer and the wealthier and at the same time increase the capital revenue of the local government to subsidise public facilities. As a consequence, the quality of the local hospital, public transportation, and library around the businesses might be as excellent as the city.
Besides
, the decentralisation system may reduce unemployment in the sub-capital cities and it gives opportunities to
young
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the young
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 generation to rise brightly.
For example
, the
Correct your spelling
existence
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 of companies
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 bigger chance for the younger to get vocational skills and be
recruitted
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recruited
 by
the
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apply
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human resources (HR) employers.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 hand, moving
manufactures
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manufacturers
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 and
its
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their
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 businesses to the sub-capital region means losing the income of the city and increasing
mobilization's
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mobilization
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 problems. The
number of
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apply
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population density caused by urbanised employees may reduce,
however
, it
also
 will decrease the number of
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
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.
For example
, if urbanised people move back to their origins, the percentage of tourism visitors will fall gradually. Another problem relates to the public transportation
of
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in
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 the suburbs which has not
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been
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well-developed yet.
As a result
, employees' productivity might experience the worst scenario. To conclude, it is obvious that the movement issue of manufactures in town
cause
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causes
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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negative effects
such
 as losing the capital income of the city.
However
, the local government should be aware that the opportunities might be wider
such
 as improving the prosperities.
Submitted by serlyayus on

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