IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of the cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #governments #industries #businesses #move #cities #areas
Nowadays, the number of factories and companies in the urban areas grow rapidly as the high inquiries of the society. It has been a widespread argument that government should move their businesses to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sub-urban areas. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will try to identify the positive and the negative sides of
this
 topic. On the one hand, the disparity between urban and
sub-urban
Correct your spelling
suburban
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 areas may be cut down as the development
centered
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centred
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to
Change preposition
on
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 both regions. It will certainly diminish the gap
of
Change preposition
between
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 the poorer and the wealthier and at the same time increase the capital revenue of the local government to subsidise public facilities. As a consequence, the quality of the local hospital, public transportation, and library around the businesses might be as excellent as the city.
Besides
, the decentralisation system may reduce unemployment in the sub-capital cities and it gives opportunities to
young
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the young
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 generation to rise brightly.
For example
, the
Correct your spelling
existence
existance
Correct your spelling
existence
 of companies
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 bigger chance for the younger to get vocational skills and be
recruitted
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recruited
 by
the
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apply
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human resources (HR) employers.
On the other
hand
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,hand
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 hand, moving
manufactures
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manufacturers
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 and
its
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their
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 businesses to the sub-capital region means losing the income of the city and increasing
mobilization's
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mobilization
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 problems. The
number of
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apply
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population density caused by urbanised employees may reduce,
however
, it
also
 will decrease the number of
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
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.
For example
, if urbanised people move back to their origins, the percentage of tourism visitors will fall gradually. Another problem relates to the public transportation
of
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in
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 the suburbs which has not
Add a missing verb
been
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well-developed yet.
As a result
, employees' productivity might experience the worst scenario. To conclude, it is obvious that the movement issue of manufactures in town
cause
Change the verb form
causes
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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negative effects
such
 as losing the capital income of the city.
However
, the local government should be aware that the opportunities might be wider
such
 as improving the prosperities.
Submitted by serlyayus on

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