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Band 5

In some countries children take up paid jobs during the summer vacation. Some people feel that this amounts to child labour. Others argue that summer jobs help children learn valuable lessons. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #children #jobs #summer #vacation #people #amounts #child #labour #lessons
Some people argue that teenagers tend to spend their time during summer vacation with
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 up a
salaired
Correct your spelling
salaried
 occupation
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 help them to get valuable experience,
meanwhile
Add a comma
,meanwhile
show examples
 others realize that
this
 amounts to child slavery. In my opinion, while the concept of child employment is debatable, I support that students should take odd jobs on their vacation since it will be more beneficial to them. On one hand, parents let their
children
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
learn to earn
money
 by taking jobs during the summer holidays in order to prepare
children's future
Change noun form
children
show examples
 to face the world after
finished
Wrong verb form
finishing
show examples
 their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
 and live apart from them.
As a result
,
this
 way will help the pupils to gain experience and the difficulty of earning
money
.
Additionally
, the youngsters will learn more about
manage
Wrong verb form
managing
show examples
 their
money
 and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 their
money
 wisely which is not taught at schools.
However
, teenagers who take up
sideline
Correct article usage
the sideline
show examples
 will feel tired from
work
 and lead to
lose
Change the verb form
losing
show examples
 interest in studying at
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
children
 who
work
 with
adults
Change the noun form
adult
show examples
 employees
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
receive the same treatment as adult workers.
Moreover
, the company does not regulate special treatment for underage workers,
consequently
,
children
 are forced to do something beyond their capabilities.
Therefore
, these conditions even have the potential to be vulnerable to exploitation,
such
 as slavery, prostitution, and drug involvement.
For instance
,
employer
Add an article
the employer
an employer
show examples
 will ask their employee who are young and physically fit to carry out tough duties,
such
 as lifting raw materials for making bread. In conclusion, pupils can learn valuable materials about
money
 management which is earned from
work
.
However
, those who
work
 underage will be more vulnerable to treatment related to child exploitation.
Submitted by yuliarahmah92 on

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