IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#directors #managers #organizations #people #leaders
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Given is one bar
chart
 illustrating the average
hours
 of working per week among eight jobs and a pie
chart
 that describes the proportion of people suffering from
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stress-related
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stress related
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stress-related
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illness
 among eight jobs. In summary, the
hours
 of work and the percentage of people getting
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stress-related
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stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
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illness
 are not positively related,
Add an article
a business
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business man
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businessman
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 has the longest working
hours
 but lectures
has
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have
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 the highest percentage of suffering
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
illness
. In the bar
chart
,
business man
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businessman
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 accounts for the longest working hour with 70
hours
 per week, it is followed
with
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by
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 movie producers and doctors with 60 and 52
hours
.
In contrast
, the two occupations with the shortest working
hours
 are chief and lectures, which are less than half of
business
 man’s, with 30 and 25
hours
 respectively. In the pie
chart
,
although
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
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 has the shortest working
hours
, it has a quarter of people
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
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 from mental
illness
. The movie producer and doctors account for 18% and 15% in turn.
On the contrary
, programmers
contributes
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contribute
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the least with 5%.
Submitted by chloelwy3905 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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