IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#directors #managers #organizations #people #leaders
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Given is one bar
chart
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 illustrating the average
hours
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 of working per week among eight jobs and a pie
chart
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 that describes the proportion of people suffering from
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stress-related
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stress related
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stress-related
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illness
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 among eight jobs. In summary, the
hours
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 of work and the percentage of people getting
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stress-related
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stress related
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stress-related
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illness
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 are not positively related,
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Add an article
a business
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business man
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businessman
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 has the longest working
hours
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 but lectures
has
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have
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 the highest percentage of suffering
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stress-related
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stress related
Add a hyphen
stress-related
show examples
illness
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. In the bar
chart
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,
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business man
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businessman
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 accounts for the longest working hour with 70
hours
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 per week, it is followed
with
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by
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 movie producers and doctors with 60 and 52
hours
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the two occupations with the shortest working
hours
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 are chief and lectures, which are less than half of
business
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 man’s, with 30 and 25
hours
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 respectively. In the pie
chart
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,
although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
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 has the shortest working
hours
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, it has a quarter of people
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
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 from mental
illness
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. The movie producer and doctors account for 18% and 15% in turn.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, programmers
contributes
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contribute
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to
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apply
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the least with 5%.
Submitted by chloelwy3905 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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