Nowadays both men and women spend a lot of money on beauty care. This was not so in the past. What may be the root cause of this behaviour? Discuss the reasons and possible results.
Beauty has become of paramount importance these days,
thus
creating new generations that are obsessed with their physique and images. This
is the result of social media, in , the fact
they have created adolescents who only care about their appearances; there are other reasons that could explain this
trend such
as fashion
shows and the fashion
industry.
Firstly
, globalization has permitted the sharing of information at a speed that was unknown until today, thus
causing our youth to be obsessed with one another. In addition
, the beauty standards have changed, in fact
from the beginning of the twenty-one
century, thin Correct your spelling
twenty-first
women
started to appear in all magazines, creating models to look up to. Moreover
, fashion
shows have reinforced this
idea, causing the rise of eating disorders, also
in pre-adolescent teens. For instance
, the moment you open Instagram you are overwhelmed by the photos of beautiful, thin, perfect women
who seem the representation of Goddesses. This
created false standards in the minds of young, suggestible teens and thus
increased their desire to be just like those women
.
Additionally
, the fashion
industry has not helped us, in , the
Correct article usage
apply
fact
it started to change sizes in order to make them smaller and smaller, thus
making it impossible for 'normal' human beings to fit in. Then
, they also
created a judgemental environment in which you are afraid of your size,
because it is unacceptable to wear a size higher than a 40. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, there are some stylists such
as Elisabetta Franchi that
have been widely criticized since the sizes of her clothes do not match Correct pronoun usage
who
the
reality, in ,Correct article usage
apply
fact
women
that
normally Correct pronoun usage
who
fitted
in a 40, with her clothes had to buy a 44. Wrong verb form
fit
This
has created mental distress and it has increased the risk for mental health issues.
In conclusion, this
obsession with beauty is a result of the wrong standards and models that the fashion
industry made us accept, but there is still hope. Nowadays more women
are speaking up, they are embracing who they are and accepting that they come in different sizes. One day, nobody will be judged by her or his physical appearance anymore.Submitted by giulia.piacentini1 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay provides a generally clear development of ideas, but there are instances where the logic could be improved by reorganizing the points and making the structure more coherent. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more effective in framing the discussion.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task by discussing reasons for the current obsession with beauty, but it lacks thorough exploration and analysis. The examples provided are relevant, but the response could be more comprehensive and well-rounded.