Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in the cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree
While
some individuals argue that authorities should invest more in ancient artworks such
as printings and figures to enhance their living standards, others beg to differ. This
essay agrees with this
statement as the government
should not dismiss other aspects of their country
. In this
essay, I shall discuss the benefits of tourism in the country
and I will go further
to discuss the improvements and motivations of the artist.
To begin
with, it has been obvious that work
of art Correct article usage
a work
such
as building a monument is an extremely helpful idea in terms of tourist attractions. Moreover
, the reason behind this
is that many tourists will have the motivation to visit a certain country
to see its sightseeing
, and Replace the word
sights
thus
, more revenues will be added to a country
's budget. For example
, the vast majority of people who visit New York City for tourism will not leave the state without having seen the sculptures. This
figure added more and more benefits to the city. Having said that, if the government
does not spend more on these sculptures, people will not be able to recognize a city.
Furthermore
, by spending more money on this
kind of art, any artist will be encouraged to work harder and harder to grow a country
's culture. Therefore
, this
will also
assist them in improving their income. For instance
, Italy is well known for its artists. However
, the Italian government
motivates the artists by allowing them to showcase their paintings on every road and most crowded area
without being taxed or fined. Italy is now one of the most beautiful countries in the world. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
Nevertheless
, the government
should also
be generous with infrastructure. Roads, bridges, and even buildings should also
be maintained to maintain their beauty.
In summary, although
spending more money on art is indeed beneficial in terms of revenue and improving one's life but
the Remove the conjunction
apply
government
should not neglect the maintenance of other aspects.Submitted by onuanderline on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The essay does not fully address the prompt. It discusses the benefits of investing in art but fails to offer a balanced view or discuss the extent of agreement or disagreement. A clear position must be taken and supported throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, and the introduction and conclusion are weak. To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and the ideas are linked together cohesively throughout the essay.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!