Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #work #money #lessons #shouldn #sacrifice #rest #activities

The number of teens that

work

part-

time

has been skyrocketing, some people believe that

this

is beneficial while some opponents state that they should not spend

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

working.

This

essay will investigate both views but believes the latter opinion. On the one hand, there are two reasons why teenagers should do part-

time

. The main reason is that they can acquire some valuable soft skills. When teens participate in part-

time

jobs, they will be able to learn some essential life skills

such

time

management and leadership. These will be crucial for their future works. Another reason is that they will be able to understand the difficulties in earning money. Some youngsters do not think twice before purchasing

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

, if they have the chance to

work

, they will have a chance to understand that earning money is not easy.

As a result

, they will think clearly whether the products they purchase are compulsory or not.

On the other hand

, there are two reasons why

adolescences

Replace the word

adolescents

show examples

should not

work

Firstly

, they should focus on

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

. As they are still students, they should pay more effort to study. To illustrate, they should spend their

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

revising

instead

of working so they will be able to receive better results and it’s beneficial to their future lives.

Additionally

, they should participate in some

activities

. They are still young and they have numerous

time

work

in the future, so they should discover some

activities

that they are interested in

instead

of working.

For instance

, they could try some

music

Replace the word

musical

show examples

instruments or sports

activities

. These

activities

allow teens to have all-rounded

developments

Fix the agreement mistake

development

show examples

. To conclude, youth are not suggested to

work

as there are some more valuable things that they could do during their spare

time

Submitted by chloelwy3905 on Thu Jul 21 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public spaces. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The best way to solve environmental problems is increase the fuel cost? do you agree or disagree?

The tourist industry has grown enormously over the last fifty years and there are few places which are unaffected by it. However, tourism rarely benefits the countries which tourists visit. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second hand clothing amongst younger generations. Why is this happening? Do you think it's a positive or negative development?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?