In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Education
allows
people
to improve their knowledge and easy to choose work.
However
, some opinions think that cancelling high-level
education
which can change the high rate of unemployment problems. In my opinion, I completely disagree with
this
perspective that
education
is very important for finding
jobs
.
First
of all,
education
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is very important when
people
find a job or for the company to choose their employees. It is because each
jobs
Change to a singular noun
job
show examples
have
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
education
demands. If
people
don’t fit the demand, the company will not apply you.
For example
, being a banker who
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
some business
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
.
However
, there are different
knowledges
Change the wording
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
to learn in secondary
education
, we will easy to find
jobs
. And when we have more knowledge, more
jobs
that we can choose.
Moreover
, secondary
education
not only
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
show examples
us know
these knowledges
Fix the agreement mistake
this knowledge
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
for us to learn how to practice
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exams. So that
people
can apply their practice to their work. Secondarily,
people
can’t find
jobs
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not only because of their learning
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
have different reasons like
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
environment. When the environment is not good, the company don’t apply new employees. It is because they need to control their price or can’t open just like COVID-19. There are many companies
need
Correct pronoun usage
that need
show examples
to close their shops or stop their
jobs
. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
,
education
isn’t
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reason that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
can’t find
jobs
.
Submitted by fkamn12354 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal access
  • knowledgeable workforce
  • economic growth
  • critical thinking
  • social equality
  • self-employment
  • entrepreneurship
  • cycle of poverty
  • vocational training
  • job market needs
  • specialized fields
  • modern economies
  • innovation
  • diverse and dynamic economy
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