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Band 5

Some people believe that companies should manufacture products that last for a long time. Others feel that the emphasis should be placed on producing cheap goods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #companies #products #time #emphasis #goods
These days many firms are making goods
according to
 different sections of the nation. Some individuals believe that a long-lasting durable item should be made available by the businesses, critics negate it and think that a reasonable product should be produced by the outlets.
Although
 both aspects hold their own significance, my inclination is toward the former viewpoint.
To begin
 with, there is one major reason for believing that low-cost
products
 should be manufactured. First and foremost, inexpensive items are easily accessible and purchased by poor people for their needs. As less fortunate populations have low incomes, and they find it hard to earn their basic needs,
hence
, these low-priced things in the market make it convenient for them to buy. To exemplify, a monster truck for kids aged 4 to 5 years is available at renowned outlets at a very high price,
whereas
 the same is
also
 available at local markets at half of its original price .
Therefore
 slum children can
also
 have the option to buy and play with it.
On the contrary
, there are myriads of reasons why high-quality items should be invented by businessmen.
Firstly
,
due to
 its long durability, it is considered a one-time investment by many.
Although
 these
products
 require a huge initial investment
due to
 their superb quality,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
requires
Correct subject-verb agreement
require
show examples
 less maintenance cost and
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 be used for ages.
For example
, a superior quality wooden closet once bought, could be used for almost 10-15 years and even more.
Secondly
, an expensive item
also
 helps the nation in protecting the environment from depletion.
While
 cheap
products
 are less in age and could be sent to thrash in a very short span of time, long-lasting things could be utilised for a long time,
hence
due to
 the longer durability,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 went to thrash late,
therefore
 natural resources get preserved for a long time.
For instance
, a wooden toy for a kid costs around $10 and could be used by future generations
also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
because of its fine quality.
However
, toys made from plastic went to thrash after their single use, which leads to piles of plastics in the garbage that could deplete the resources.
To conclude
,
although
 reasonable
products
 could be easily accessible to poorer people, in my opinion, firms should manufacture high-quality
products
, because it will help the nation in protecting the natural resources
due to
 its lesser wastage.
Submitted by kirnu0216 on

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task response
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly addresses the essay prompt. Provide a balanced discussion of both views and clearly state your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay shows a good overall organization with clear introduction and conclusion. However, enhance the coherence by using transition words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • disposable goods
  • economic benefits
  • frequent replacements
  • technological adaptation
  • manufacturing affordability
  • environmental responsibility
  • longevity
  • minimize costs
  • wider society
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