IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people want the country to host an international sporting event. While some people believe that international sporting events create problem, other believe they can bring significant benefits. Discuss both view and state your opinion.

#people #country #host #event #events
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Being an organiser of international sporting games
such
Linking Words
 as the FIFA
world
Use synonyms
 cup or seagames is an
hornor
Correct your spelling
honour
 for a
country
Use synonyms
 and
however
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, people are still debating between the advantages and disadvantages that
that
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
events bring.In
this
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 essay,discuss both standpoints and review my opinion.
Firstly
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,talking about
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 that the
country
Use synonyms
 holding a sporting event will be well-known on the
world
Use synonyms
,so that attract tourists.
For example
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,After hosting seagames 31 in Hanoi the amount of visitors to Vietnam has increased significantly and contributed
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the development of
Use synonyms
country’s
Correct article usage
the country’s
show examples
 economy.
Secondly
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,the attendance of athletes and spectators from
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other countries
show examples
country
Use synonyms
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 chances for socializing the culture and languages.
For instance
Linking Words
,the
world
Use synonyms
 cup is a global famous big tournament and it is taking place every 4 years so that host-nation’s
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 will welcome a large number of
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 from many countries with different languages and traditions.
Correct your spelling
Therefore
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
,they
are learn
Change the verb form
are learning
show examples
 more about the
world
Use synonyms
 outside,getting more
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
 to
talking
Wrong verb form
talk
show examples
 and
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 foreign languages
also
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.
However
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,the hosting
country
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some social issues,
such
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 as a high ratio of robbery and environmental pollution.The reason for
this
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 is that a large number of
foreigner
Fix the agreement mistake
foreigners
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 come over in a period
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
makes
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 the
country
Use synonyms
 overload with security,leading to uncontrollability and theft
happen
Wrong verb form
happening
show examples
 easily.Especially in Japan,a
country
Use synonyms
 famous for its safety and security but after Olympic 2020 took place in Tokyo,many people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
complained that they were surprised because their property was stolen in Japan.
Moreover
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,because of too
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 visitors so the amount of waste that was not collected in time causes air pollution. In conclusion,I do agree that hosting
a big sporting games
Correct the article-noun agreement
a big sporting game
big sporting games
show examples
 like seagames or
olympic
Change the capitalization
Olympic
show examples
 has some bad
efects
Correct your spelling
effects
 but it undeniable that it gives the hosting nation a good opportunity for economic development.
Submitted by jordannguyen243 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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