IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, great attention has been paid to the topic of who should be the most responsible for the child’s
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 numerous discussions on
this
Linking Words
 issue. Some people state that
parents
Use synonyms
 and teachers ought to be blamed for crimes committed by young
children
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, some opponents disagree with the above perspective. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, the argument will be carefully examined to support my opinion. First off, it is evident that many professors
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 an antiquated strategy for evaluating students' academic success.
This
Linking Words
 translates to a
lack
Use synonyms
 of emphasis on practical knowledge in the actual world and a focus only on understanding
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
core areas like literature, arithmetic, history, and biology.
For instance
Linking Words
, many students may excel in their academic fields but
lack
Use synonyms
 a complete understanding of what
violence
Use synonyms
 is, what its definition, causes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and serious repercussions are.
As a result
Linking Words
, youngsters who
lack
Use synonyms
 realistic perception start to
conduct
Verb problem
commit
show examples
 violent acts.
Second,
Linking Words
some
parents
Use synonyms
 fail to provide their kids with the everyday assistance they need. In actuality, the frenetic pace of life causes
parents
Use synonyms
 to be overburdened with work and robs them of time to care for their
children
Use synonyms
.
Children
Use synonyms
 who
lack
Use synonyms
 compassion and empathy may act cruelly and in an unsociable way toward others.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, straying from parental guidance might expose kids to harmful websites and rebellious
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. They often mimic what they observe and act
accordingly
Linking Words
.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, the prevalence of
violence
Use synonyms
 among young people is mostly the result of instructors and
parents
Use synonyms
. In fact, they fail to provide
children
Use synonyms
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
 appropriate attention and do not assist them in learning in-depth information about
violence
Use synonyms
. If these issues are still prevalent, teen
violence
Use synonyms
 is increasing to an alarming degree.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: