In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some
people
believe that the
people
who live in a poor country don't deserve secondary
education
because
of
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apply
show examples
they have a high rate of unemployment , despite others don't' believe
this
subject.
this
essay
disagree
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disagrees
show examples
with that suggestion completely because
of
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apply
show examples
the
people
who
no
Add a missing verb
have no
show examples
hope
finding
Change preposition
of finding
show examples
a
job
deserve
a
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an
show examples
opportunity
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
and
Correct word choice
apply
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in
this
essay , ı will mention why they need to get
quality
Correct article usage
a quality
show examples
education
and ı will talk
how
Change preposition
about how
show examples
important
science
and
technology
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
.
in addition
, ı will give two examples.
First
of all ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
is so important and necessary for every person. in fact, most
people
who
rich
Add a missing verb
are rich
show examples
and have a
quality
job
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jobs
show examples
has been succeeded thanks to good
education
, even though they had some difficulties before
the
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their
show examples
education
.
For example
, or example , the
ali
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Ali
show examples
koç who is a
turkish
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Turkish
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businessman received a
quality
education
through
education
,
therefore
he is not
a
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apply
show examples
poor and he
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a good
job
. if
people
want
such
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
quality
and good
job
, they have to study
Change preposition
for a
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
education
.
Secondly
, when we look from the past to the present,
technology
and
science
have always progressed thanks to
education
, despite some
people
's opposition to
education
. because of the development of
technology
and
science
,
new
Add an article
the new
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
appeared and so
people
joined different new
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
For example
, because of the development of software programs in Turkey, today , many companies are looking for a
job
in the software field. if
people
get training in
this
field, they can join software companies.
As a result
, I think that in countries where there is a lot of unemployment, students should get their
education
because through
education
,
technology
and
science
will develop and new opportunities will be provided.
Submitted by furkan_fener_03 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal access
  • knowledgeable workforce
  • economic growth
  • critical thinking
  • social equality
  • self-employment
  • entrepreneurship
  • cycle of poverty
  • vocational training
  • job market needs
  • specialized fields
  • modern economies
  • innovation
  • diverse and dynamic economy
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