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Band 5.5

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#position #women #societies #years #gender #equality
Nowadays, modern people are more conscious of gender equality than in the past. Some people believe the rights of females are totally equal to males.
However
, there are still some situations which are unfair to
women
, especially in employment circumstances. I agree with the above statement and I will give my own explanations.
First
 of all,
companies
 provide inequality benefits and conditions for female employees.
Although
 the government legislates relevant laws to protect
women
 most
companies
 still supply different pay to
women
, men and
women
 do the same work.
Additionally
, employers reject hiring married
women
 or woman who plans to have an infant lately. Because employers are unwilling to pay or keep the job position for female employees when
women
 leave for childbirth.
Secondly
,
companies
 only consider male candidates for management positions or high-level jobs.
For instance
, in Japan, most
companies
 only promote male employees to work in management positions. It is obvious to see that the qualification of candidates is not dependent on personal abilities. It causes
women
 to not organize personal career plans.
Thus
, getting married becomes a final target for Japanese
women
 who are forced to give up personal careers to be a housewife because their salaries can not afford
the
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apply
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further
 expenses. In conclusion, even if people have common knowledge of gender, the government sets up laws to prevent unfair situations from happening to
women
. While there are many
companies
 that care more about the company's profits than respect the right of
women
 to achieve.
Submitted by m064611 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • historical context
  • gender pay gap
  • underrepresentation
  • leadership roles
  • gender-based violence
  • educational opportunities
  • workforce
  • legal reforms
  • statistics
  • case studies
  • global perspective
  • progressive changes
  • cultural differences
  • empowerment
  • patriarchy
  • systemic discrimination
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