Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

#parents #children #toys #child

Time has changed considerably and so is the lifestyle of people. Earlier parents in Indian culture loved their

children

but never spoiled them with riches.

Children

now think that they can get whatever they want whereas a decade ago

this

was not the case. Lots of toys are bought by the parents for their

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

to play with. It keeps the kid away from the scorching heat and they play indoor

games

only.

In addition

to that, they stay away from bad company by not going out.

Also

, parents get a lot of time with their lovely

children

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

their bond strong.

Moreover

, the

children

are

consequently

saved

Change preposition

from

show examples

various health problems that might occur by playing in the sand. Buying so many toys may

also

have some drawbacks. It gives

children

an idea that they can get whatever they ask for which may lead to a bad attitude in later life. In the early times,

children

used to play outdoor

games

that helped them make new friends but nowadays nobody wants to play outside.

Although

playing indoor

games

protect

Correct subject-verb agreement

protects

show examples

them from

sun

Add an article

the sun

show examples

but studies have shown that today's

children

are more sensitive than

Change preposition

in previous

show examples

times because of less exposure to outer environments.

Moreover

, they have relatively weaker immune systems that ultimately

invites

Correct subject-verb agreement

invite

show examples

more health problems. In my opinion, playing outdoor

games

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

more fun than indoor

games

. Though indoor

games

have their benefits, their drawbacks cannot be overlooked. Kids of a decade ago were lucky that they had their childhood before

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technologies took over. I believe that kids should be allowed to play in the parks and gardens to have

better

Add an article

a better

show examples

experience of childhood.

Submitted by kaurarpanpreet11 on Thu Jul 28 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

Fully explain your ideas

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Many local languages are dying out due to the rise of languages like English. Is this a positive or negative development?

Universities should accept equal numbers og male and female student in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?