IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that you should strictly control your children’s behaviour, while some others believe children should be free to choose their behaviour. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #control #children’s #behaviour #children
Children
 are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Some folks argue that
parents
 should control their
children
 strictly other things they should control them freely. In my ,opinion
kids
 should be treated with love
instead
 of sticky behaviour. in forthcoming, paragraphs we will delve into the viewpoint of both sides.
Firstly
, if the public controls their guidelines forcefully, there is a good chance that these
kids
 will be disciplined but scared of their own
parents
. Controlled
children's
Change noun form
children
show examples
 do not share their problems with their family members because they are scared of sharing them.
for instance
, a study reported that
children
 with strict
parents
 are less attached to their family members.
on the other hand
,
parents
 who deal with their
kids
 with love and give them full freedoms, those
kids
 are more attached to these
parents
. they are not even very friendly with their family they respect them and shared every detail of their life. to sum up, the parent should be strict with their
kids
 but same way they need the love which they deserve.
Submitted by support on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: