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The student who study from the school to university get benefit less and contribute less too, than those of student who go to travel or job and get skills and experience before going high. Do you agree or disagree?

#student #study #school #university #benefit #travel #job #skills
Many people hold a belief that pupils who start their careers early can create more opportunities to gain experience and knowledge than those who continue to focus on their studies. I agree with
this
 because people who have great skills and experience are overrated by recruiters and help
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 find out what they love.
First
 of all, the main reason why they are skilled in having many contacts in the external environment
such
 as communication, their life and so on. It is a
much needed
Add a hyphen
much-needed
show examples
 page for their future career. They bring more knowledge in participate fields which helps society develop.
Besides
, a
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
 and experienced person can subtly solve difficult problems that a fresh graduate student can’t tackle. Companies usually choose employees who are adept and experienced.
That is
 possible because those can complete successfully assigned jobs, which helps companies save time and earn whole much
moneyFor
Correct your spelling
money for
 example
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when discussing with customers about cost,
inexperienced
Add an article
the inexperienced
an inexperienced
show examples
 and unskillful new employee is often lost customers. Another factor is that they find out what they love. When they have skills and are exposed to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
 many things in the outside
Correct your spelling
environment
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
, they will realize where they are
Correct your spelling
strong to
strong
strongto
Correct your spelling
stronger
find
Correct word choice
and find
show examples
 the right industry.
Therefore
, it will be simpler for them to acquire employment and advance in their careers,
finding
Correct word choice
and finding
show examples
 the right industry for them will help their future work
Correct your spelling
develop
developed
devolop
Correct your spelling
develop
 well. In conclusion, I completely agree that the students concentrating on studying get benefit less and contribute less too, than those who go to travel or job and get skills and experience before going high.
Submitted by domaianh.uliser on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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