IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

big salary is more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagre?

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The pursuit of a career is a big step into adulthood. There are some
people
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 who believe that a high-paying
job
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 is more essential than a fully satisfying
job
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 opportunity.
However
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, I would have to disagree with the choice of a
job
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 that pays more than a satisfying
job
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. There is a great pursuit for younger
people
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 to be employed by an employer that pays well. But whenever an employee is hired by an established organization, they will be put under a lot of pressure to
work
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 long hours in order to meet the company's quota. In some cases,
people
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 who have taken jobs in an isolated place in exchange for paying a larger salary would find themselves in lonely and deprived places burnt which leads
people
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 to suffer more to achieve the goals of receiving high-paying wages.
In contrast
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, workers who choose to find satisfaction in the workplace are likely to sacrifice their pay for a
work
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-balanced culture that supports them and makes them feel appreciated. In terms of meeting their expectation, the employee would more likely to be willing to commit to
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job
Add an article
the job
a job
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 and their role.
In addition
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, the pursuit of a supportive environment builds more of the person and
people
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 around them allowing them to both excel in their
work
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 and their well-being. It is essential that
people
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 do find pleasure in their
work
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 as it drives them to be more than just a number in the company. In my opinion,
people
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 who pursue wealth tend to lose motivation after a while since
work
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 exhaustion will start to kick and the
job
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 interest would soon lose out over time.
This
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 disappointment does not allow
people
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 to find a reason for
work
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. In comparison, satisfied workers are more willing to
work
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 because they are committed to their roles and would not mind helping others around them. In conclusion,
people
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 should pursue a
job
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 with a higher salary because they would more likely lose interest in their
work
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 and feel unappreciated, unlike
work
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that is
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 fully satisfying would not feel like pressure to
work
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 in and
people
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 will most likely remain in the role longer.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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