IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Q. As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result.

#q #world #computers #jobs #job #positions
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To begin
 with, global advancement has been
the
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apply
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top-notch in today's century.
Meanwhile
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,Meanwhile
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 a whole lot has been improved so far with the
use
 of modern devices. In
this
,
essay
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an essay
the essay
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 I will point
on
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out
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 some work that computer has replaced and
also
 discuss
on
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apply
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the negative outcome.
Firstly
, before now most works like farming
was
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were
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 done manually with equipment like hoes ,
matches
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and matches
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 ,
this
 is no longer invoke since the production of modern machines like tractors which
has
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have
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 made work load less and easily accessible for many .
Also
, with the involvement of many individuals who help in the cultivation
as
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of
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team work
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teamwork
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 thereby reducing the crisis of low employment status whereby making people
to
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apply
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find a source of living.
Secondly
, producers of most manually tools now
lacks
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lack
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 confidence in producing and
also
 barely meet up with the cost of living.
Furthermore
,
postoffices
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post offices
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 are no longer in charge
in
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of
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 delivering messages for
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an individual
the individual
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individual
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individuals
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 to their loved ones who are far. Prior to now people
makes
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make
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use
 of
canoe
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canoes
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 for transportation to far and neighbouring places to transact business and so on , Again, cloth designers who were in the idea of using needle and thread to make clothes for people are been affected
with
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by
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 the
use
 of modern technology.
Also
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,Also
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 most labourer who does minor jobs to sustain life will be out of
job
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a job
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. In all
this
 , the negative outcomes
prompts
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prompt
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to
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apply
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unemployment and for one to be acquainted with the
use
 of
computer
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a computer
the computer
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 , education has to be acquired in other to know how to handle the new machines.
For instance
 in a situation
where by
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whereby
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Add an article
a low
the low
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low class
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low-class
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 individual cannot afford funds for education the dream
working
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of working
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 in companies that make
use
 of modern devices will not be accomplished.
Submitted by adaobihedioha12 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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