IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Woman and men are commonly seen as having different strength and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is no doubt that these days there are sayings about the
deference
Correct your spelling
difference
show examples
 between
women
Use synonyms
 and men in terms of their
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
show examples
 and weaknesses in work. The question is, is gender can be
hindrance
Add an article
a hindrance
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
? In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to write my opinion and draw
conclusion
Add an article
a conclusion
show examples
. In terms of advantages,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the world did not differentiate between
women
Use synonyms
 and men in work in terms of
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
show examples
 and weaknesses. The main reason given to support
this
Linking Words
 claim is that today large numbers of females occupied political positions, which in the past were only for
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
. To illustrate, studies
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parliament
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the parliament
show examples
 seat in the world have
occupy
Change the verb form
occupied
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 and they have
popularity
Add an article
a popularity
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 can be succussed in any
positions
Fix the agreement mistake
position
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, there are some reasons that females cannot take any
jobs
Use synonyms
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 that related to power
such
Linking Words
 as construction
jobs
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, A
Use synonyms
women’s
Correct your spelling
woman's
show examples
 body is designed
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 to competitive a
men
Change noun form
man's
show examples
 body.
In other words
Linking Words
, there are some games for
women
Use synonyms
 and transgender participate in it and they won
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
by a big margin over the
women
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, females go through a monthly phase I mean period and it is difficult for
women
Use synonyms
 to occupy sensitive positions
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
show examples
 the impact of
period
Add an article
the period
a period
show examples
 on their decisions. In conclusion, we noticed that there are
different
Replace the word
differences
show examples
 between sexes in some
jobs
Use synonyms
 but,
this
Linking Words
is does
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not prevent that woman makes huge success in every
places
Change to a singular noun
place
show examples
.
Although
Linking Words
 we must respect
women
Use synonyms
’s bodies and make them live in their lives.

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