Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teachers. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this option? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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There is no doubt that these days increase
rate
Add an article
the rate
show examples
of violent
crimes
among teenagers under the age
18
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of 18
show examples
. The question is, what is the
reason
behind these
behavers
Correct your spelling
behaviours
show examples
Is it due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
of parental
supervisor
Replace the word
supervision
show examples
? In
this
essay, I am going to discuss
this
option and draw my conclusion. In terms of causes,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
psychologists claim that the
reason
is that nowadays
children
are not receiving care from both home and school. The main
reason
given
Add the auxiliary verb
was given
show examples
to support
this
claim
that is
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of families work in their own jobs, which means they spent half their day outside the house leaving their
children
without any supervisor. To illustrate, their absence has a negative impact on their
kid’s
Change noun form
kids
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
, their
children
have many things to do.
Hence
, they will learn from the street rather than home
however
, they will meet bad friends who support them to commit
crimes
and in the final, they will waste their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
future.
Moreover
, there are
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
reasons that pushed
children
to commit
crimes
which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
school and teachers.
Firstly
, most schools attract bad
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
and they don’t care about the side effects of
this
decision.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
,
this
will be impacted
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
good students and their studies.
Secondly
, some tutors follow old and bad teaching methods that are bare of emotions, just learning orders while they need care and things about real life. In conclusion, the fact that parents and teachers are the main
reason
for
this
situation but, there is another
reason
Change preposition
for that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
increasing rate of
crimes
among teenagers.
Submitted by alruhaimi6 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • juvenile crime
  • social and emotional learning
  • parental guidance
  • educational system
  • technology addiction
  • media influence
  • behavioral patterns
  • societal issues
  • economic disparities
  • comprehensive intervention
  • crime prevention strategies
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