IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think a country benefits from a large proportion of young university students, others think sending young people to universities only leads to graduate unemployment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #country #proportion #university #students #universities #graduate #unemployment
Unemployment
 is emerging as a rising problem in today’s society – each year millions of
people
 are losing their jobs. While some individuals claim that a nation would find a major part of college students to be beneficial, their counterparts believe that graduate
unemployment
 is an inevitable consequence of sending young
people
 to universities. From my perspective, I strongly believe that a country would greatly benefit from young university students. On the one hand, there are undeniable advantages to not studying at a university.
For example
,
people
 can sign up for vocational colleges. Afterwards, they can immediately go on to get a job, and during
this
 period, they will be able to develop soft skills, as well as gain working experience. Later on, their ability to solve real-life problems can make up for their lack of education. Since doing
this
 takes a significantly shorter time to get a job, it might partly solve the problem of
unemployment
.
On the other hand
,
people
 who pursue higher education benefits the nation in many different ways.
To begin
 with, sending young
people
 to universities would create a source of educated citizens, which is vital to the betterment of society.
Furthermore
, they
also
 contribute more to the country, as they occupy many important professions.
For example
, politicians and lawyers are important for a smoothly running government, while doctors play a vital role in everyone’s life.
Therefore
, society as a whole
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 from college students. . In conclusion, while not pursuing higher education might help with the problem of
unemployment
, I think that the advantages of sending the youth to universities outweigh the disadvantages, and citizens of a nation would benefit greatly from
this
.
Submitted by iqunder20 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: