IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries schools have severe problems of behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #schools #behaviour
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Children
Use synonyms
 are very crucial to nurture, with the change of lifestyles and improvement in the education system, some attitude
that is
Linking Words
 displayed by
kids
Use synonyms
 varies due to the different cultures and environment. In
this
Linking Words
, the essay will discuss
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the causes and
thus
Linking Words
 provide measures that can be used to handle the situation. Due to changes in
lifestyle
Add a comma
,lifestyle
show examples
 lots of
children
Use synonyms
 display several attitudes,
for example
Linking Words
, in the western country like the US and UK
children
Use synonyms
 are been raised with full caution which means that
kids
Use synonyms
 over there are not punished anyhow because that's how the government has structured the law right from history. Unlike
kids
Use synonyms
 that are born in India , Nigeria and etcetera who are well discipline starting from childhood.
For example
Linking Words
 ,
children
Use synonyms
 brought up in India are been nurtured in a way that they are taught
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to respect their elders, greeting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the elderly ones is paramount, obeying of parent's instructions, they must take permission before doing anything or else they will be severely punished and
also
Linking Words
 handling of house chores .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some measures could be used to recorrect the attitude of
kids
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, by including moral lessons as part of their curriculum in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school by doing
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
, the
kids
Use synonyms
 will nurture
such
Linking Words
 lessons in their memory starting from childhood.
This
Linking Words
 will teach them how to respect and honour their elders even as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is stated in the bible.
Also
Linking Words
, parents should always supervise their
children
Use synonyms
 in whatever they do give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
correction when necessary and
furthermore
Linking Words
 create time for their
children
Use synonyms
 in other to monitor the kind of things they do even with their friends.
hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 improves more bond between parents and
kids
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, teachers and parents should be able to nurture their
kids
Use synonyms
 with utmost respect and caution. And in
this
Linking Words
 moral classes should be seen as a vital part of the school curriculum.
Submitted by adaobihedioha12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: