IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Being a celebrity such as film star or singer brings problem as well as benefit. Do you think that being a celebrity bring more benefit or more problem?

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Social media platforms are the way of life for many
people
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 today and the
celebrity
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 culture is at the heart of
this
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.
People
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 are discussing if
limelight
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the limelight
show examples
 has more pros or cons. The following passages will highlight why
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benefits
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the benfits
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benfits
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benefits
 outweigh
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the
teh
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the
 disadvantages.
First
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 of all, humans are social creatures,
higher
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the higher
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 the level of fame,
higher
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the higher
show examples
 the level of status in
the
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apply
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society. As
such
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 celebrities like sports
perosnalities
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personalities
 and film stars are considered role models.
This
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allow
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allows
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 these
people
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 to
inlfuence
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influence
 ordinary
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people
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people's
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 lives. Like when
Indian
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the Indian
show examples
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government
governement
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government
 hired numerous sports stars to encourage the public to vote in the election. Thereby
increased
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increasing
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 the participation of the general folks by 20
percent
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per cent
show examples
.
Furthermore
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,
status
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the status
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 of
celebrity
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 grants a lot of special rights which allow these
people
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 to live life easier.
This
Linking Words
 can be seen
from
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in
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 how celebrities do not have to stand in lines. easier access to shops,
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restaurants
restraunts
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restaurants
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and
adn
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and
 many other
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social
socila
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social
 establishments. All of these small privileges, allow
the
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apply
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popular individuals to live
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their
there
theri
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their
 life to
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their
theri
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their
 full potential. Alternatively, there are
few
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a few
show examples
 drawbacks
of
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to
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 fame.
Firstly
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, celebrities have no privacy. So. all these good and bad deeds are in the public for all to see.
This
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 not only creates a great deal of stress but
also
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 their mistakes are remembered more than their victories.
For example
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, famous footballer John Smith is now more known for his tax case than his charity work. In conclusion,
people
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 who reached the rank of
celebrity
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 in our culture
,
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apply
show examples
has
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have
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 to give up some of their basic rights like privacy, but in
return
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,return
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 they gain an outsize influence on
the
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apply
show examples
society. So, I
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believe
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belive
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believe
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 that being a
celebrity
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 has more advantages than problems.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adoration
  • scrutiny
  • paparazzi
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • substance abuse
  • luxurious lifestyle
  • platform
  • influence
  • awareness
  • prompting
  • unrealistic standards
  • self-esteem
  • exclusive events
  • networking
  • collaborations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: