Some people think it is better for children to have many short holidays during the year. Others believe that it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vocations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, there are many discussions about ranging vacations for
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
in schools. Some argue that fewer periods with larger longevity are preferable,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
argue that frequent and short
holidays
are preferable. While frequent vacations allow
students
not to be overwhelmed, in my opinion, longer
holidays
are more appropriate for long-term deep
focus
, planning, and
stress
resistance. The
first
view might involve
Correct your spelling
arguments
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
about
higher
Correct article usage
the higher
show examples
productivity of
students
during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
studying time. Due to many
holidays
Add a comma
,holidays
show examples
kids are able to eliminate retained
stress
and be more active during
the
Change the word
their
show examples
studying sessions. In
such
systems, examinations,
for example
, should be more successful.
However
, frequent
holidays
lead to frequent
Correct your spelling
interruptions
interuptions
Correct your spelling
interruptions
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
learning
Add an article
the learning
show examples
process and
focus
, decreasing
Correct your spelling
efficiency
Correct article usage
the effeciency
show examples
effeciency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
of large
modules
Fix the agreement mistake
module
show examples
learning.
Therefore
,
students
may experience a lack of deep understanding of themes and may retain only the surface knowledge, which
often
Add a missing verb
is often
show examples
unreliable and unnecessary for
further
education.
On the other hand
, few
holidays
lead to
overwheling
Correct your spelling
overwhelming
and overstressing of
students
during the studying process. A lack of
relax
Replace the word
relaxation
show examples
may appear as an irritated condition of
students
and a plummet
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
efficiency. End-term examinations,
for instance
, would be less successful due to high levels of retained
stress
.
Nevertheless
, long learning terms give
students
an opportunity to
focus
deeply on a subject and plan complex
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
.
Moreover
,
Less
Change the quantifier
Fewer
show examples
Correct your spelling
interruptions
interuptions
Correct your spelling
interruptions
during
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
not only
develops
Correct subject-verb agreement
develop
show examples
planning and focusing skills but
also
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
show examples
students
to become resistant to stressful situations and deal with them
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work. As far as I
concerned
Add a missing verb
am concerned
show examples
, being able to
focus
and plan your own work
in
Change preposition
under
show examples
long-term
Correct article usage
a long-term
show examples
perspective without frequent vacations and
stress
resistance are more important aspects than successful examinations in school without a contemporary application in the future and a low amount of real pressure.
Submitted by 2023gerasimov.la on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: