IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think it is better for children to have many short holidays during the year. Others believe that it would be beneficial to have fewer, longer vocations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #holidays #year #vocations
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Nowadays, there are many discussions about ranging vacations for
chilldren
Correct your spelling
children
 in schools. Some argue that fewer periods with larger longevity are preferable,
some
Correct word choice
and some
show examples
 argue that frequent and short
holidays
Use synonyms
 are preferable. While frequent vacations allow
students
Use synonyms
 not to be overwhelmed, in my opinion, longer
holidays
Use synonyms
 are more appropriate for long-term deep
focus
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, planning, and
stress
Use synonyms
 resistance. The
first
Linking Words
 view might involve
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arguments
arguements
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arguments
 about
higher
Correct article usage
the higher
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 productivity of
students
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 during
the
Correct article usage
apply
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studying time. Due to many
Use synonyms
holidays
Add a comma
,holidays
show examples
 kids are able to eliminate retained
stress
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 and be more active during
the
Change the word
their
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 studying sessions. In
such
Linking Words
 systems, examinations,
for example
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, should be more successful.
However
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, frequent
holidays
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 lead to frequent
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interruptions
interuptions
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interruptions
of
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in
show examples
learning
Add an article
the learning
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 process and
focus
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, decreasing
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efficiency
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the effeciency
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effeciency
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efficiency
 of large
modules
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module
show examples
 learning.
Therefore
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,
students
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 may experience a lack of deep understanding of themes and may retain only the surface knowledge, which
often
Add a missing verb
is often
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 unreliable and unnecessary for
further
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 education.
On the other hand
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, few
holidays
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 lead to
overwheling
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overwhelming
 and overstressing of
students
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 during the studying process. A lack of
relax
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relaxation
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 may appear as an irritated condition of
students
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 and a plummet
of
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in
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 efficiency. End-term examinations,
for instance
Linking Words
, would be less successful due to high levels of retained
stress
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.
Nevertheless
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, long learning terms give
students
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 an opportunity to
focus
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 deeply on a subject and plan complex
researches
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research
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.
Moreover
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,
Less
Change the quantifier
Fewer
show examples
Correct your spelling
interruptions
interuptions
Correct your spelling
interruptions
 during
working
Replace the word
work
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 not only
develops
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develop
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 planning and focusing skills but
also
Linking Words
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
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students
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 to become resistant to stressful situations and deal with them
on
Change preposition
at
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the
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apply
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work. As far as I
concerned
Add a missing verb
am concerned
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, being able to
focus
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 and plan your own work
in
Change preposition
under
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long-term
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a long-term
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 perspective without frequent vacations and
stress
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 resistance are more important aspects than successful examinations in school without a contemporary application in the future and a low amount of real pressure.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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