Young people do not spend their holiday and weekend doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environment. Why? And how to encourage them to go out？

It is true that nowadays young

people

Use synonyms

would rather stay at home playing video games or watching movies than travel outdoors. some seasons are responsible for the issue and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

can play a significant role

to tackle

Change preposition

in tackling

show examples

this

Linking Words

. There are several major reasons which are responsible for why teenagers and young men are not willing to go out when they are available,

such

Linking Words

as the changing of lifestyle,

as well as

Linking Words

a rise in the cost of travelling. To start with, a lack of time and energy mainly

result

Correct subject-verb agreement

results

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in young

people

Use synonyms

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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no longer being keen on sports outdoors. Because

due to

Linking Words

the increasing competition and pressure in societies, particularly in

metropolis

Correct your spelling

metropolises

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, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

young

people

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, including teenagers and young adults, have to concentrate on their studying and working.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, with the development of urbanization and pollution of the natural environment near cities, it is relatively hard for the fans of outdoor sports,

such

Linking Words

as cycling, hiking and climbing to find perfect places in or around under areas so they have to spend more money on travelling to find a better place.

Consequently

Linking Words

, a rise in cost stops these young

people

Use synonyms

from regular exercising. Obviously, authorities can take steps to deal with these problems.

Firstly

Linking Words

, education systems can add exercising performance of teenagers as a standard for getting higher education,

this

Linking Words

may encourage students to spend more time exercising. Another necessary measure is to build more public infrastructure to provide access to the natural environment.

For instance

Linking Words

, investment in specific paths of cycling linked urban areas and countryside and public transport to natural spots.

Moreover

Linking Words

, In conclusion, there are many reasons for young

people

Use synonyms

prefer staying indoors rather than exercising outdoors. At the same time, governments are expecting to take action to handle

this

Linking Words

issue.

alexpan1027

Aug 4, 2022

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task response

The essay addresses the task prompt by discussing reasons why young people prefer indoor activities over outdoor activities and suggesting ways to encourage them to go out.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing reasons, and solutions, as well as a brief conclusion. However, some points could be further developed and connected more logically.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Young people do not spend their holiday and weekend doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environment. Why? And how to encourage them to go out？

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

Due to the increase in population in big cities, more and more people are living in small houses with very little or no outdoor space. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. Model Answer

Some people say that too much attention and resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.