Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with the academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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contemporary epoch, whilst opponents hold the belief that pupils should be taught extra-curricular
activities
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while
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studying other syllabi, proponents and I have
a
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apply
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diverse
perspective
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perspectives
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.
However
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, I discern that
such
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activities
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are crucial for their mental development. To embark on, despite the fact that many parents do not prefer to cause
an
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academic stress to their offspring , I believe that these
activities
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are an outlet for learners.
In other words
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, they will have a profound impact on their academic performance because they will not be drained and exhausted
due to
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their concentration on the curriculum only.
For instance
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, in a recent study, it was proven that students who learn arts outperform those who do not and score higher grades ,
due to
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the
rising
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in their creativity levels and boosting their out-of-box thinking.
Thus
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, what can be said is that not only
does
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these
activities
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affect their mind positively , but
also
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they will boost their scores.
Additionally
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, it is paramount to live new experiences ,because that will keep learners busy with their goals. To illustrate, if they do not take part in
such
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motivating projects they will spend their time playing video games. Those games have a deleterious impact on their mental and psychological health ,and they encourage them to commit atrocities.
this
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might be exemplified by many teenagers who do not take
advantages
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advantage
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of their leisure time , and they just have been wasting many hours playing with their peers.
Hence
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, what can be said is that if fosters encourage their juniors to participate in beneficial events, they will get ameliorated in their studies ,and that will
guarntee
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guarantee
a fruitful future for them. In conclusion,
after
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this
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essay has manifested the points
mention
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mentioned
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above, it can be reiterated that custodians ought to teach their youngsters some quintessential skills that will impact their mentality in a positive way .
According to
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this
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, I am a staunch believer that learning extra
activities
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will definitely add value to their lives.
Submitted by esraaalnahrawy6 on

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion. However, the points are not fully developed and could benefit from more specific examples and explanations. Ensure that each paragraph directly relates to the topic and moves the argument forward.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: There is some attempt at using linking words and phrases, but the essay lacks consistency in logical progression and organization. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the body paragraphs lack clear and cohesive development of ideas. Work on structuring the essay in a more coherent and organized manner, with logical progressions between ideas and paragraphs.
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