IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#countries #habits #lifestyle #children #generations #people #had #effect #health
IT HAS BEEN THOUGHT THAT AS TECHNOLOGY HAS IMPROVED, PEOPLE’S DAILY ACTIVITIES HAVE CHANGED. ONE WIDELY HOLD THE OPINION THAT MODERN EATING HABITS AND LIFESTYLE HAVE DETRIMENTAL EFFECTS ON
CHILDREN
’S HEALTH, WHILE OTHERS DISAGREE.
THIS
 ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THESE ARGUMENTS AND EXPLAIN WHY I TOTALLY AGREE THAT NEW GENERATIONS ARE UNHEALTHIER THAN PREVIOUS ONES WITH POSSIBLE CAUSES.
FIRSTLY
, TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENTS HAVE UNDENIABLE ADVANTAGES FOR
CHILDREN
 AS HUMANITY. TO AN EXTENT, IT IS THE ONLY PHYSICAL NEEDING FOR
CHILDREN
 TO EXPLORE THE REST OF THE WORLD OR ENHANCE THEIR VISION IS THE INTERNET AND ONE CLICK. BUT IN SPITE OF THAT IT PROVIDES
CHILDREN
 WITH LOTS OF STRAIGHTFORWARDNESS, IT SHOULD NOT BE FORGOTTEN THAT IT HAS ADVERSE EFFECTS ON
CHILDREN
'S GENERAL HEALTH. AS TECHNOLOGY EASES
CHILDREN
’S LIVES, THEY NEED LESS MOVEMENT AND MORE SNACKS TO MAINTAIN THEIR LIVES. NEEDLESS TO SAY, IT IS FOLLOWED BY A SEDENTARY LIFESTYLE AND UNHEALTHY FOODS WHICH CAUSE OBESITY AND DEPRESSION AMONG
CHILDREN
 AND MAKES THEM MORE PREVALENT.
FOR INSTANCE
, BECAUSE OF VIVID COLORED VIDEO GAMES,
CHILDREN
 ARE BECOMING ADDICTED TO COMPUTERS AND THEY START TO SPEND THEIR TIME AT HOME WITHOUT FRESH AIR AND ONLINE ORDERED FAST FOOD. THE LACK OF PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH PEERS, AND PHYSICAL ACTIVITY
IN ADDITION
 TO A BULK OF PROCESSED FOOD CAUSE THE GAINING OF WEIGHT AND PSYCHOLOGICAL COLLAPSE. TO SUM UP,
ALTHOUGH
 THERE ARE NUMEROUS ADVANTAGES OF TECHNOLOGICAL DEVELOPMENTS, IT HAS DETRIMENTAL AND IRREVERSIBLE EFFECTS ON
CHILDREN
 AT SOME LEVEL. IN MY OPINION, IF THE USAGE OF THE INTERNET COULD BE RESTRICTED BY PARENTS,
CHILDREN
 WOULD BE MORE HAPPIER AND HEALTHIER THAN NOW.
Submitted by dt.essrademir on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: