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Band 6.5

some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. others disagree and think that the host contry should welcome cultural differences. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #visitors #countries #customs #behaviour #host #contry #differences
Several
people
 believe that tourists should respect and trace local customs and attitudes, while others think differently about the host country’s hospitality and manner to various cultures. I want to argue
both
 points of view in
this
 essay but in my opinion,
both
 groups should cope with each other. On the one hand, the tourism industry is gradually grown in
this
 century because of globalization and peace between the countries,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 nowadays visitors can conveniently travel and accustom
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 new cultures and their traditions,
however
 rarely
local
Add a missing verb
do local
show examples
 habitants treat them frostily because, majority of visitors are completely different to native residents,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
 clothes, language, etc.
Thus
 if tourists wear the traditional clothes of the host country, they will warmly be welcomed.
On the other hand
, countries should provide appropriate circumstances for local
people
 and their environment if they want to be the host,
moreover
, the majority of issues with these individuals is they do not have proper infrastructure
such
 as schools and hospitals, etc,
therefore
 maybe misunderstanding happened when they are facing new
people
 and specifically foreign.
Nevertheless
, if hosts act better and accept other cultures when guests came to their city or village it would be enlightenment and lucrative for the government because when visitors feel positive and tranquil they probably enjoy their trip and buy more souvenirs, despite the journey they will counting days for visit the place and
people
 to refresh good memories. To conclude,
both
 groups should respect and percept each other’s culture, beliefs
then
 it would be a massive experience for
both
.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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