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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#parents #people #home
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It has become increasingly prevalent for young adults to leave home before getting married. In my opinion,
this
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 is a positive trend taken as a whole because it fosters independence but it can have rare debilitating financial drawbacks. The main drawback to moving out early is losing a parental safety net that safeguards financial stability. In large cities
such
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 as New York, real estate prices are so high that without a high-paying
job
Add a comma
job,
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 you will struggle to contend with rent, food, transportation costs, and allowances for leisure activities. It is even possible that these hardships could prove overwhelming and pride may prevent you from going back to your parents. These individuals might end up taking a job with a low salary or
that is
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 not their passion. The aforementioned drawbacks are the exceptions; the majority of people who move out are successful because they become self-reliant. A standout example of
this
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 is the typical American university student. Most students leave their parental home at 18 and never look back. These students take their first baby steps towards looking after themselves by doing their own laundry, managing their finances to an extent, and taking
on campus
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on-campus
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 employment. Once they graduate from university they will likely take over their entire financial outlay.
This
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 means they must find a good job and spend more responsibly. These qualities, of frugality and responsibility, will serve them well in their lives and increase their odds of future success. In conclusion, the majority benefit from the added responsibility that leaving home brings. To encourage more people to move out parents should provide a degree of financial support when necessary but focus more on fostering their children’s independence.
Submitted by ehsan_rahim66 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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