Science tells us that some activities are good for our health, while some others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people all over the world continue with unhealthy activities. Why do you think this is the case and what might be done to change this?

Scientific research has grown exponentially in
this
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decade.Many trials show that people should avoid unhealthy activities like smoking, a sedentary lifestyle, excess salt and
carbohydrates
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carbohydrate
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intake and too much alcohol consumption.
However
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,an increased proportion of the population sticks to these practices
due to
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various reasons that I
would
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will
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discuss in the subsequent paragraphs and
would
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will
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also
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dilate
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elaborate
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upon
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on
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the measures to counter these negative tendencies. There are a number of reasons for the masses to indulge in adverse practices.First of all, the stress of the job and at home creates unrest
and
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, and
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some folks tend to relieve it by smoking or by drinking alcohol.
Secondly
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, there are scores of fast food chains in the markets that provide junk foods.
For example
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, KFC,
Macdonald
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McDonald's,
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and similar franchises are available in every city.
Due to
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easy availability and increased ingestion of
such
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food items, there is a net weight gain,
hence
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,
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apply
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leading to diseases
such
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as Diabetes Mellitus, Hypertension and so on.
Thirdly
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, advertisements showing attractive models smoking cigarettes and drinking beverages
also
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incline people towards these malpractices.
Moreover
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, the lack of parks and sports facilities is one of the factors determining the level of physical activity performed by individuals.
For instance
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, we had a number of playgrounds near our house which used to attract the whole town for sports
but
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, but
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the rapidly expanding population and houses have led to a decline in these facilities,
hence
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, forcing kids to resort to indoor games.
In addition
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, governments seem to be lacking the will to formulate laws related to population control and the preservation of recreational places.
Last
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but not
the
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apply
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least , rising inflation is
also
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pushing the masses to work extra hours with inadequate sleep so as to meet the family's demands. Unhealthy activities can be curbed by various measures.These include stern government laws like banning pubs, imposing increased taxes on soft drinks and fast food items, controlling inflation and regulating office timings so as to relieve the stress on the community.Over and above these steps,
media
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the media
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can
also
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play a vital role in promoting good habits and discouraging harmful acts.
For example
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, highlighting the diseases caused by smoking
including
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, including
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lung cancer
rather
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, rather
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than glorifying the people who smoke could be a game changer. In conclusion, ill practices in a society have a myriad of causes which can be tackled through collective efforts of individuals and law-making bodies.

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improvement
Your plan is clear and you tell what causes the bad habits and how to fix them. Try to make one main idea per paragraph and keep a straight line from point to point.
improvement
Use simple and exact words. Some long phrases can be shortened and some facts can be shown in a simple way.
improvement
Link ideas with small words like and, but, then, also to show flow and to make it easy to read.
strength
The essay shows a good plan with clear cause and effect.
strength
There is a good use of order words to show steps and links between ideas.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • dependency
  • peer pressure
  • social norms
  • mental health issues
  • binge eating
  • lack of access
  • long-term consequences
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • public health campaigns
  • government regulations
  • taxes
  • dissuade
  • mental health care
  • supportive environment
  • community programs
  • wellness workshops
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