The youth in many countries are unemployed and unskilled, while at the same time, the Military services are in need of people. Compulsory military service is beneficial and necessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is argued by some that mandatory
army
service
is favourable and requisite. In these
days, I reckon that it is Change preposition
These
demandable
and Correct article usage
a demandable
requirement
of many Correct article usage
a requirement
nations
and it is useful for countries. This
essay will shed light on the benefits and requirements and will also
elaborate on my views for stating that obligatory army
defence
is more favourable for the nations
.
To commence with, nowadays most of
youngsters are jobless and Change preposition
apply
non-skill
in many kingdoms and facing Correct your spelling
unskilled
shortage
of Correct article usage
a shortage
skill
manpower. Replace the word
skilled
By implementing
Change preposition
Implementing
this
rule to join army
Correct article usage
the army
service
is obligatory which help
to create employment in Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
nations
. To explicate it
, if they hire employees from the provinces and give them training Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
Change preposition
in
defence
Correct article usage
the defence
system
which
can lead to Correct pronoun usage
it
increase
employment Wrong verb form
increased
as well as
skilled staffs
of the Fix the agreement mistake
staff
nations
. For instance
, there is rule
in Israel Add an article
the rule
a rule
country
that one person from the family has to join defence
Correct article usage
the defence
system
and serve for
the nation Change preposition
apply
to be
Verb problem
apply
strong
Change the word
strongly
defence
services. As a result
, Israel is most
powerful Correct article usage
the most
country
in defence
Correct article usage
the defence
system
and helps many countries for
protection despite of small Change preposition
with
country
with limited
population.
Correct article usage
a limited
Furthermore
, most of
individuals are not ready to join Change preposition
apply
army
service
as they want to live in freedom along with
their families. To explain it, if army
service
would be essential for citizens to pursue it then
we can solve the problem of manpower in defence
systems. Hence
, nations
would have colossus
Correct article usage
a colossus
army
to protect.
Lastly
, nation
would be stronger and Add an article
the nation
a nation
powerful
by joining numerous people of the Correct quantifier usage
more powerful
country
. In addition
, people can get job
easily and gain Correct article usage
a job
require
skills which can help in their future. Wrong verb form
required
In other words
, individuals can get work and fulfil their family requirement
and can grow in future even after completion of Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
defence
Correct article usage
a defence
job
. To epitome, recently survey
has been conducted by Correct article usage
a survey
Add an article
the ministry
ministry
of Capitalize word
Ministry
defence
that after leaving Capitalize word
Defence
army
Correct article usage
an army
job
, almost one lac officers got job
in Add an article
a job
the job
security
field in top companies which are most demandable currently and it helps to survive their families and make Add an article
the security
career
in Add an article
a career
this
field.
In conclusion, I totally agree with the opinion that sentencing the mandatory army
service
is significant and necessity
Replace the word
necessary
of
the Change preposition
for
country
. It leads to generate
employment and Wrong verb form
generating
solve
the shortage of manpower issue in Wrong verb form
solving
defence
Add an article
the defence
system
. People will be employed easily and make their career
in other fields after Fix the agreement mistake
careers
finish
their tenure to grow in future.Change the verb form
finishing
Submitted by dhaval0302 on
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of the essay by organizing ideas in a more coherent manner.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively address the topic and purpose of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas and arguments.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.