IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
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It is argued by some that
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 pay scale is more essential than
work
Use synonyms
 fulfilment. I completely disagree with the opinion and in
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
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 I will state the reasons for my views.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the most compelling reason for holding to my view is that
job
Use synonyms
 fulfilment is more essential in professional
life
Use synonyms
 to be successful. To explain it, If employees love to
work
Use synonyms
Change preposition
on which
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
 is assigned to them, they would complete their
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 in time which is enhance their productivity.
For instance
Linking Words
, nowadays individuals are more conscious regard to health
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
work
Use synonyms
 satisfaction is more crucial in
life
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, it leads to
healthier
Add an article
a healthier
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 and can be more productive.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, another reason for my position is that citizens don’t need to change
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 frequently when they satisfy with their
job
Use synonyms
 profile. To elaborate, if employees enjoy
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
working, they would stay for a longer period in
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 same company which leads to
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhanced
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 efficiency which is beneficial for the company as
staffs
Change the noun form
staff
show examples
 attrition plays a major role in companies’ progress.
Hence
Linking Words
, humans would not face any issues to find jobs regularly if they are satisfied with their
work
Use synonyms
 profile which is helpful to grow themselves as well as the company. In conclusion, I totally disagree with the opinion that sentencing highly pay-scale is more essential than
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 satisfaction is a game changer in employees’
life
Use synonyms
 and it is significant to be victorious as well as they don’t require to change jobs often. Given
this
Linking Words
 situation, it is recommended that companies should focus
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 employees’ engagement program and their growth in order to
work
Use synonyms
 joyfully which is beneficial for organizations too.
Submitted by dhaval0302 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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