IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

more and more people buy a wide range of household goods such as television, microwave oven and rice cooker. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #range #household #goods #television #microwave #oven #rice #cooker #development
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Nowadays there is an increase of domestics being bought,
such
Linking Words
 as television, microwave oven and rice cooker caused by higher demand of
people
Use synonyms
. Though it has several
neagetive
Correct your spelling
negative
 impacts, I hold the
believe
Replace the word
belief
show examples
 that it can create positive fields in the long run.
To begin
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 with,
people
Use synonyms
 keep buying things without checking whether they need the old things or not is a kind of money-consuming, which leads to a consumer society.
Also
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, the huger range of goods
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 eliminated, the more waste is doing harm to the environment,
such
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 as water pollution,
air
Correct word choice
and air
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 pollution and
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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 some disasters like soil erosion and flood.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, the more natural resources are used, the shorter life
in
Change preposition
on
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 Earth that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 will be.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 buying more household goods for their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
 brings many significant benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they improve their standard of living by collecting the most high-tech goods for their families, meaning that they will have more opportunities and time to
gathering
Wrong verb form
gather
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 together in the
cozy
Change the spelling
cosy
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 air.
For example
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,
a
Correct word choice
if a
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washing machine is bought, family
Correct your spelling
members
mambers
Correct your spelling
members
 will have more valuable time to talk to each other
instead
Linking Words
 of having to stand for hours to clean them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, consumers create a consuming market, which is convenient and smart to serve them
buying
Change preposition
by buying
show examples
 their needs.
This
Linking Words
 will
also
Linking Words
 promote
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic growth and save the environment as well as open up more job opportunities. In conclusion, though there are several negative impacts,
people
Use synonyms
 will solve
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different ways. The most important thing is
people
Use synonyms
 are approaching
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the new era of technology, which can serve
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
incredible things and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happiness
among
Change preposition
to
show examples
 family members.
Submitted by nguyenthanhloc7918 on

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