Some people argue that it is not wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

this

time and age, some

people

have debates that it is not a great choice for an industry to replace old but experienced workers and recruit new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To my belief, there should be changes to the system. Currently, the young

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

market is more active, both in number and in the ability to work.

As a result

, not only the efficiency but the productivity is

also

boosted.

In addition

, the amount of workload the young can endure is considerably more than what the old can handle. In harsh environments like factories, the old

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

to take breaks every 1 to 2 hours, meanwhile, younger

people

are capable of exceeding their own work time, which brings a world of wonders to the company.

Furthermore

, medical problems for elders can occur, as the

demanding

Replace the word

demand

show examples

to work puts

Remove the article

apply

show examples

pressure on them. In order to cope with the problem, retirement policies have been made,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which

states

Correct subject-verb agreement

state

show examples

that at a certain age, one

Correct your spelling

individual

invidual

Correct your spelling

individual

can retire and earn pensions for the rest of their life.

This

not only solves the matter

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

create

Correct subject-verb agreement

creates

show examples

Correct your spelling

opportunity

oppotunity

Correct your spelling

opportunity

for younger

people

to get their desired occupation. Contrary to the popular belief that

people

think, it is not recommended to replace old workers because of their knowledge, the world is continually moving forward at a gradual pace, and the experience of the previous may not be applicable.

On the other hand

, the young generation has the ability to adapt much faster, meaning the development of society will

be push

Change the verb form

be pushed

be pushing

show examples

even

further

. All in all, while the experience of the old is needed, more and more technological advances are being discovered, and younger

people

are the only

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

able to make use of that.

Submitted by shin.le1988 on Tue Aug 09 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

293 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

experienced
old workers
young
inexperienced
replace
industry
wise
argue
valuable
skills
knowledge
loss of expertise
lack
necessary
experience
maturity
diverse
workforce
mix
age groups
beneficial
focus
providing opportunities
continuous learning
development
balanced approach
smooth transition
maintain productivity

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Some people argue that it is not wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Nowadays, there are a large number of coffee shops and fast-food vendors on high streets and in town centres. Why are there so many of these outlets? What effect is this having on the society?

Many processed foods and ready-meals contain preservatives and chemicals Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages ?

There are more workers who work from home and more students who study from home. This is because computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper.Do you agree or disagree?