Some people argue that it is not wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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this

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time and age, some

people

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have debates that it is not a great choice for an industry to replace old but experienced workers and recruit new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To my belief, there should be changes to the system. Currently, the young

labor

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labour

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market is more active, both in number and in the ability to work.

As a result

Linking Words

, not only the efficiency but the productivity is

also

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boosted.

In addition

Linking Words

, the amount of workload the young can endure is considerably more than what the old can handle. In harsh environments like factories, the old

needs

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need

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to take breaks every 1 to 2 hours, meanwhile, younger

people

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are capable of exceeding their own work time, which brings a world of wonders to the company.

Furthermore

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, medical problems for elders can occur, as the

demanding

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demand

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to work puts

Remove the article

apply

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pressure on them. In order to cope with the problem, retirement policies have been made,

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which

states

Correct subject-verb agreement

state

show examples

that at a certain age, one

Correct your spelling

individual

invidual

Correct your spelling

individual

can retire and earn pensions for the rest of their life.

This

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not only solves the matter

Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

Linking Words

create

Correct subject-verb agreement

creates

show examples

Correct your spelling

opportunity

oppotunity

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opportunity

for younger

people

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to get their desired occupation. Contrary to the popular belief that

people

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think, it is not recommended to replace old workers because of their knowledge, the world is continually moving forward at a gradual pace, and the experience of the previous may not be applicable.

On the other hand

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, the young generation has the ability to adapt much faster, meaning the development of society will

be push

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be pushed

be pushing

show examples

even

further

Linking Words

. All in all, while the experience of the old is needed, more and more technological advances are being discovered, and younger

people

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are the only

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

able to make use of that.

Submitted by shin.le1988 on Tue Aug 09 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

293 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

experienced
old workers
young
inexperienced
replace
industry
wise
argue
valuable
skills
knowledge
loss of expertise
lack
necessary
experience
maturity
diverse
workforce
mix
age groups
beneficial
focus
providing opportunities
continuous learning
development
balanced approach
smooth transition
maintain productivity

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Some people argue that it is not wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful for the studying process. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

More and more tasks we do at home and at work these days are done by robots. Is this a positive or neative development?

Some people belive that advertising has a strong effect on a person's decision-making process. Other people believe that it has little or no real impact. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that traditional teaching methods are more effective than modern digital approaches. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays , women as well as men work full time. Therefore, women and men should share household tasks equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that technology is now an invaluable study tool for young people. Others, however, believe that it is harmful for the studying process. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.