IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#position #women #societies #years #gender #equality
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 21st century, the mentality of
people
Use synonyms
 is changed to a great extent. In the 90's era, the situation totally varied from the present
time
Use synonyms
. At the present ,
time
Use synonyms
women
Use synonyms
 are as equal to men. They can do everything that a man can. But in some societies still
people
Use synonyms
 do not believe in gender equality. I totally give my 100 per cent to the statement.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in the 19th and 20th centuries there was a different situation. At that
time
Use synonyms
women
Use synonyms
 have to do two things either do household or go farming. But at present
time
Use synonyms
 the position of
women
Use synonyms
 has changed.
Women
Use synonyms
 have started doing different-different jobs.
Women
Use synonyms
 started jobs as a teacher, professors, scientists, pilots, IT engineers, chefs, CEO in the company and many more. But ,
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that
women
Use synonyms
 are just for doing household and farming work.
Besides
Linking Words
, they can not do anything. The main reason behind the
people
Use synonyms
 thinking these negative thoughts is that they are not educated properly. In earlier times there were no schools so at that
time
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 do not have a proper understanding of these scenarios. They only think that
women
Use synonyms
 are not equal to men. The other reason behind
this
Linking Words
 is our old culture and tradition. But some
people
Use synonyms
 are following our old tradition and culture. On behalf of
this
Linking Words
 culture and ,tradition
people
Use synonyms
 think that
women
Use synonyms
 can not do other jobs. At
last
Linking Words
, I want to address that it is very important to change the mentality of
people
Use synonyms
. Government should take some drastic steps on
this
Linking Words
 like they can start campaigns on
this
Linking Words
 topic. Government can give education to
people
Use synonyms
. And many more steps can be taken to prevent
this
Linking Words
 misconception. In conclusion, I strongly agree that some
people
Use synonyms
 still believe in gender equality.
Submitted by KUSH  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • historical context
  • gender pay gap
  • underrepresentation
  • leadership roles
  • gender-based violence
  • educational opportunities
  • workforce
  • legal reforms
  • statistics
  • case studies
  • global perspective
  • progressive changes
  • cultural differences
  • empowerment
  • patriarchy
  • systemic discrimination
What to do next:
Look at other essays: