IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Every year several language die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages. To what extent do u agree or disagree with this opinion.

#year #language #people #life #languages
Each year a few
languages
 vanish and some individuals believe that it is fantastic to decrease the number of
languages
 all around the world and
for achieving
Change preposition
to achieve
show examples
 ease of life. I completely disagree with their statements.
this
 essay will discuss how speaking in other
languages
instead
 of
mother
Correct pronoun usage
one mother
show examples
 tongue and
fewer
Add a missing verb
having fewer
show examples
 interactions with tourists for visiting other societies
maybe
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
 deteriorate
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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contract
Correct your spelling
contact
show examples
 with others.
Firstly
, the world contains a lot of
countries
 that have their own cultures so
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 of each country are custom to their culture and language because as they
were
Wrong verb form
are
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 born
were
Verb problem
they are
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 in touch with their mother tounges so they can express their
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 in
this
 way but when they forced to speak to other
languages
 they may not show their emotions simply because their unconscious feeling is based on first years of their life.
For instance
, a study in India shows that after choosing English as a common language
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
about 70% of families prefer to speak in Persian
due to
 having a mutual understanding.
Hence
, if the laws do not permit them to speak in the way they want the communication between populations will fall.
On the other hand
, the tourist industry has an important role in communication and most tourists choose their destinations in a way that they want to see the different cultures, civilisations and
languages
.
Therefore
, some rare
languages
 are popular for them and without these, their
countries
 are not attractive to visitors.
For example
, speaking in Japanese is the reason for visiting Japan for tourists and if their language dies out one of the most important reasons for
this
 issue will be destroyed. In conclusion,
dieing
Correct your spelling
dying
 out the
languages
 in some
countries
 have their negative effects on communication and if they vanish, people can not contact each other because of losing their mother tongue and
also
 those
countries
 are not interesting to visit for some visitors.
Submitted by mr.rahimi30 on

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Text flow and clarity
Ensure correct punctuation and capitalisation in the text. This includes using capital letters after full stops and for the first-person pronoun 'I'.
Argument development
Strengthen the clarity and delivery of your argument or point of view. The essay addresses the question, but the position lacks clarity in several places.
Grammatical Accuracy
Manipulate a wider range of sentence structures and correct minor grammatical errors, like subject-verb agreement ('languages dies' should be 'languages die').
Formality and register
Avoid colloquial terms like 'u' and use more formal language ('you').

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