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Band 5.5

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#university #education #job #hand #people #skills
Education
 is thought to be a legacy and
people
 strife hard to acquire
education
,
this
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 many
people
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
opined that
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
level
 of
education
 will bring a better job opportunity, but
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
people
 thought
experience
 and acquiring skills
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more efficient.
This
 essay will
highlights
Change the verb form
highlight
show examples
 some
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 both views and give
Add an article
an opinion
show examples
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
.
To begin
, many
people
 who thought acquiring
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
 can grant a better opportunity thinks in term of
company
 employment which require
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 certain
level
 of
education
 before the job can be granted.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 according to a
company
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 posted an advertisement,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part of their requirements is an
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
level
 of
education
 like(MSC) and
people
 who do not have the required
level
 are not
qualify
Wrong verb form
qualified
show examples
 to apply.
Moreover
, many
company
Change to a plural noun
companies
show examples
 hire an
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
level
 of
education
 because they thought
this
 will hard value to their
organization
 and boost their visibility.
Also
, many
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 require
this
 so that the employee will be efficient and capable of handling and
manage
Wrong verb form
managing
show examples
 the
company
 very well through the knowledge being acquired from the school. Meanwhile, some basic
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 want to employ them so they can represent the
company
 globally.
On the other hand
, some
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 are in quest for
experience
, they thought the
level
 of
experience
 will make the employee perform effectively, and will be able to solve a task without bringing any issue to the
organization
.
Additionally
, some
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 like the
company
 that deals with electricity need some
level
 of
experience
 in the field to avoid
Correct your spelling
committing
commenting
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 error.
Moreover
,
people
 who thought that
experience
 matter most
speaks
Change the verb form
speak
show examples
 in term of some profession that needs some
level
 of
experience
 before being employed. In an advertisement of one
company
 that
major
Fix the agreement mistake
majors
show examples
 in
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
 of
manual
Fix the agreement mistake
manuals
show examples
 for agriculture they require some
level
 of requirements which my niece who
employed
Add a missing verb
was employed
show examples
then
was not qualify
Change the verb form
did not qualify
show examples
 because he did not meet up the requirement. In conclusion, both
level
Change to a plural noun
levels
show examples
 of
education
 and
experience
 matter most and both
compliment
Correct your spelling
complement
show examples
 each other. In
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
 field skills and
education
Add a comma
,education
show examples
education
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
are required to be able to carry out the job efficiently. In my opinion, I think
level
Add an article
the level
show examples
 of
education
 matter most because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 in an
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 country the qualifications will
speaks
Change the verb form
speak
show examples
 in the curriculum vitae rather than
experience
 and most need an
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
level
 of
education
.
Submitted by adedayoadesewa1 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
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