the position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years, many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Women’s position in public has shifted significantly in the
last
two decades. Many young adults have Linking Words
been
experienced, Unnecessary verb
apply
like
youth Change preposition
apply
delinquent
, Replace the word
delinquency
it
comes from the fact that many Correct pronoun usage
apply
brides women
are working now Correct your spelling
brideswomen
instead
of taking care of their children at home. In my opinion, Linking Words
this
idea has many benefits and drawbacks.
On the one hand, it is easier for married females to conserve their kids and do housekeeping, Linking Words
however
, Linking Words
this
idea is exactly the Linking Words
old fashion
mother image which can barely be found in the world specifically in developed countries. Correct your spelling
old-fashioned
Furthermore
, if mothers stay at home and do not work outside, it would probably be good for children because they can have more Linking Words
time
to spend with their mother which is helpful for their education and attitudes. Use synonyms
For instance
, my mother is a teacher and when I was a pupil, I did not have enough Linking Words
time
to spend with her and it was exhausting to finish my assignments without her help.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
while
mothers are working, they can earn good money which can be really helpful for the family and they can save wealth for an unpredictable future. Linking Words
Moreover
, employment of housewives is Linking Words
due to
globalization which is a new manner of life in developed countries Linking Words
such
as Germany and the USA, etc. Linking Words
Thus
, in these types of countries, the majority of married women are busy at work and available at home, Linking Words
therefore
, their kids can not spend a lot of Linking Words
time
with their parents because they are both occupied by their jobs, Use synonyms
although
if they could spend Linking Words
time
together, it would not be enough.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, Linking Words
this
theory has advantages and disadvantages Linking Words
which
I assessed some of them, Correct word choice
and
also
it is not our fault, the reason is globalization.Linking Words
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on
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task response
Ensure that each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic and supports the main argument. Organize your ideas in a more structured manner to improve clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate more transitional phrases and connectors to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use topic sentences to clearly introduce each main idea.
task response
Effective use of examples to support your arguments.