New household appliances have resulted in more free time for women and has enabled them to both work and run a home with dependent children. What are the advantages for a family when the mother works? Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

In
these day
Change the determiner
this day
these days
show examples
and age, cutting-edge inventions make women’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
easier by doing some household
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
, which they may have their own careers and spend more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
with their children.
This
essay will explore the advantages of
this
where I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that the merits outweigh its demerits, and the reasons will be provided in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, with the assistance of some household equipment, women can have a chance to find an occupation for
additional
Correct article usage
an additional
show examples
salary, which may improve the economic status of their families.
That is
to say that a wide range of prices hike significantly all around the world, a
dual income
Add a hyphen
dual-income
show examples
family may tackle
this
issue better. China News reported that in 2021, the egg’s price in Taiwan rose remarkably from $2 to $5 for ten eggs that
dual income
Add a hyphen
dual-income
show examples
families were more affordable.
Furthermore
, working women can provide more financial security to their families.
In other words
, the unemployment rate is high all around the world, if one of the parents
lose
Correct subject-verb agreement
loses
show examples
their job, they still afford living expenses.
For instance
, the unemployment rate in Taiwan is 3.68% during the pandemic year, my aunt is unemployed;
however
, they still can use my uncle’s salary to pay their bills.
On the other hand
, some opine that mothers who have
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
may sacrifice some time to accompany their children and husbands.
Nevertheless
, an appointment can be made among family members that arrange an activity together once a week.
For example
, I was born
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
a double career family;
however
, my parents always
plan
Wrong verb form
planned
show examples
an activity to do with me
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every weekend, which
closer
Add a missing verb
is closer
show examples
our
Change preposition
to our
show examples
relationship. In conclusion, new devices
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
housework
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
women to have their own jobs to improve
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
status of
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
;
in addition
, it provides more financial security to the households, which
overshadow
Correct subject-verb agreement
overshadows
show examples
the demerits
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
problems
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
less
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
to spend
Change the verb form
spent
show examples
with family members.
Submitted by gac7077 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

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A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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