IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trends and fashions than an indication of what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A very clear trend and a major highlight
in
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of
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 how
the
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apply
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society has been changing recently is the ageing of the population in developed countries. Despite all the measures that the governments have been introducing, soon there will be more old
people
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 around than youngsters. I find that a
truly
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true
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 negative and even
scarying
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scarring
scaring
 tendency. One of the basic foundations of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern society is the retirement age, which enables the elderly to prolong the active periods of their lives,
instead
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 of working to their deaths. The lower percentage of young capable
people
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 leads to the need for the old
people
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 to retire later than their health allows.
Consequently
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, they cannot look after their grandkids, which in its turn makes the young parents less productive at work, creating even more demand for labour. The recent decline
of
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in
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 the average happiness levels is an example symptom of
this
Linking Words
 problem.
In addition
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 to preventing members of all generations from enjoying their lives, the growing percentage of the elderly, unless addressed soon, will lead to even more disastrous consequences. Being too busy with work due to
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
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 factors, young
people
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 are not willing to raise enough children to support the current norms, which will eventually result in the complete cancellation of the retirement age and pensions. It is not
theoretic
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theoretical
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,
for instance
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, it has been proven that
this
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 kind of chain reaction is taking place in
such
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 countries as Japan. In conclusion, there is an enormous issue in old
people
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 becoming the majority.
Besides
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 being
the
Correct article usage
a
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 danger to the status quo in the societal norms, it will eventually become a threat to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity in general. Reversing
this
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 tendency is only in the power of
the
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apply
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lawmakers.

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