IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compare to the past due to advanced technologies which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rate #technologies
It's believed that the
crime
 committed nowadays reduced from the past days, because of using modern technologies to solve and prevent
crime
. In my opinion, I think that technologies and artificial intelligence have a huge role in decreasing
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate. like using digital c CORRECT YOUR SPELLING cameras If you don’t want
camers
Correct your spelling
cameras
campers
 to be marked as
misspelled
Change the spelling
misspelt
show examples
 in the future, you can add
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to your personal dictionary.
ameras
Correct your spelling
cameras
Americas
 and speed control which prevent offence. and
fingerprint
 in
discover
Wrong verb form
discovering
show examples
 the criminal.
Firstly
, using digital cameras and speed control helps in preventing
crime
. when a criminal inter
place
Correct article usage
a place
show examples
 or pass through it and find a camera
this
 will let him think twice before doing any unnormal movement , and if he has done anything
this
 will assist the police in finding him.
moreover
, using speed control on roads helps in decreasing the pace, to the allowed one, and
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to fewer accidents, because cars driver have the knowledge that they are observed. It is clear that technology has helped in preventing crimes.
On the other hand
,
fingerprint
 detectors are used in discovering criminals.
In other words
, when a
rubbery
Correct your spelling
robbery
show examples
 happed in a bank or a house, the
first
 thing that the detective asked for, is looking for any
fingerprint
 that could be found.
For example
,
last
 month our neighbour went for a holiday and left their home empty, the
next
 day after their departure a thief had come and stool every precious thing left in the home. after the investigations and matching fingerprints the police catch the thief and return the loot. solving
this
 issue needed one
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
artificial
intelligent
Replace the word
intelligence
show examples
 which wasn't available in the past. In conclusion, I believe that decreasing in
crime
 commitment, technology has an essential role in it, whether in preventing it
happing
Change preposition
from happing
show examples
like
Change preposition
by
show examples
 using cameras and
controller
Fix the agreement mistake
controllers
show examples
 or
solving
Change preposition
by solving
show examples
 like using
fingerprint
Fix the agreement mistake
fingerprints
show examples
.
Submitted by Fatima Sami on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: