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Band 3.5

Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefits from this, while other consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#families #move #countries #people #children #country
Moving to another
country
 can
gain
 a better life than the present,Some people believe that if families moving to another
country
 will have advantages for
children
 while others believe that it can
gain
 more disadvantages for
children
.In the following paragraphs, both of these views Will be discussed in detail before reach to a conclusion It is undeniable that moving to another
country
 can benefit
children
. Normally the majority of immigrants move to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developed
country
 ,
for instance
, America ,Canada and England.Not only Citizenships but
also
 immigrants those people will
gain
 benefits from the Authorities that included the
fundamention
Correct your spelling
fundament
 for healthcare or education.The
children
 that immigrants from their home
country
 will learn different experiences
such
 as culture,
languages
Correct word choice
and languages
show examples
 and have a chance to study until they finish high school. The benefits that they must
gain
 make them
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
better in their future life.
On the other hand
,Moving to a foreign
country
 make it difficult for the
children
 to take more responsibility for themselves
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 learning a new language.The most crucial thing that they have to learn is a culture they must change critical thinking and effort to change the way they live. In conclusion,moving to another
country
 may have an advantage more than disadvantages ,especially in education. They should pay more attention to lean
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new things in their new life.
Submitted by chachawrch on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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