IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think the government should spend more money on public service rather than waste money on arts (i.e. music and painting). To extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, it is becoming increasingly common that more
people
Use synonyms
 are likely to think that the authority should spend more money on public services,
instead
Linking Words
 of wasting money on
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
.
Correct your spelling
From
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Form
Correct your spelling
From
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 my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 tendency
is totally disagree
Change the verb form
is totally to disagree
show examples
 with
notion
Add an article
the notion
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 of the matter investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
community
Correct article usage
the community
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.
First
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 of all, it is an indisputable fact that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
contribute
Change the verb form
contributes
show examples
 a major advantage
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct article usage
the economic
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economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
.
To begin
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 with many films, music videos,
liveshows
Correct your spelling
live shows
 and performance stages are released every year
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 brought a large of income for
Add an article
the investor
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investor
Fix the agreement mistake
investors
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 and
also
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 for the income of a nation.
For example
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, the
USA
Use synonyms
, the richest country and
also
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 famous
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
show examples
 and
films
Fix the agreement mistake
film
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industrial
Replace the word
industries
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,
such
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 as Hollywood which bring
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
USA
Use synonyms
 many
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 in every
views
Change to a singular noun
view
show examples
.
For example
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, the Avengers which movies have the highest profit in
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the world, as well as on the
lists
Change noun form
list's
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top
Change preposition
of top
show examples
 100 grossing films in the world that 80-90% is the
USA
Use synonyms
. In
additional
Replace the word
addition
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, many albums and CDs music are sold out
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 planet that almost
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 America, by selling albums, CDs and tickets show that make many famous
singer
Change to a plural noun
singers
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 get wealth
such
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 as Taylor
Swifts
Fix the agreement mistake
Swift
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, Justin Bieber and Micheal Jackson.
Correct your spelling
Moreover
Moverover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, its convenience is clearly to be seen that the artistic field
contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
show examples
 a huge role in the development of the
USA
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 constantly causes some drawbacks
such
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 as keeping, saving and advertising national identities. Many movies about
historical
Add an article
the historical
a historical
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 era of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
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 that make
people
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
now
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
 more about their forefather’s life in the past and as well as advertise with other countries about their
traditional
Replace the word
traditions
show examples
 and culture. Take a good example of it is
Korea
Use synonyms
, in the previous time
Korea
Use synonyms
 was a developing
countries
Change the noun form
country
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 when time
over of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
drama and music
industrial
Replace the word
industry
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make
Korea
Use synonyms
 progress more quickly and become one of the richest
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
 in the world. Remind
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
South
Korea
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 remember
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Kpop, K-drama, BTS and Blackpink. Their phenomenon is a major waive for
Korea
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, that
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 know more about
Korea
Use synonyms
 and
also
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advertise
Correct subject-verb agreement
advertises
show examples
 their foods, culture and lifestyle. After the
completed
Replace the word
completion
show examples
 of
Artistic
Correct article usage
the Artistic
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 field, the number of
people
Use synonyms
learn
Change the verb form
learns
show examples
Korean
Correct article usage
the Korean
show examples
 language
raise
Correct your spelling
rose
show examples
 substantially. BTS and Blackpink, which
the
Add a missing verb
are the
show examples
 faces of Samsung, by the developing of them led to the
evolved
Replace the word
evolution
show examples
 of Samsung cooperation. In conclusion, the matter fund money on public facilities or art
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms
show examples
 has its pros and cons. In my opinion, I still think that there are more advantages if we know and realize how to control what we do in
artistic
Add an article
the artistic
an artistic
show examples
 field.
Additionally
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, we cannot deny the economic contribution of arts and
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 role in
Correct article usage
the preservation
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preservation
Replace the word
preserving
show examples
cultural
Change preposition
of cultural
show examples
 identity.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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