IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

•In large cities, the issue of overpopulation has been a significant cause of concern which leads to a lack of jobs and traffic congestion. What is the cause of this? How can government help in solving this problem?

Nowadays, overcrowding is becoming a more
necessary
Correct word choice
serious
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 problem in urban places than ever before
leading
Punctuation problem
, leading
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 to serious infrastructure and unemployment issues. The reasons for the problems are the lack of development from authorities in cities and the original number of residents in them.
This
Linking Words
 issue can be solved by
opting for
Verb problem
taking
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 some measures.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many of the urban centres were constructed to have much fewer people than now.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Tashkent
Punctuation problem
Tashkent,
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 located in
Uzbekistan
Punctuation problem
Uzbekistan,
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 was supposed to have 500 thousand people, but now it has 3 million people.
As a result
Linking Words
, the lack of roads and residential areas in the city led to traffic jams and a deficiency of living
places
Use the right word
spaces
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the government does not provide financial assistance for expanding roads and encouraging companies to build property
,
Punctuation problem
;
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Linking Words
instead
Punctuation problem
instead,
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 in developing countries, corruption
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and devoting money to minor expenses are more popular. Despite
this
Linking Words
 trouble being so important, some possible solutions are mentioned by experts. In order to solve the problem, the leaders of the countries should start an advertising company for living in the countryside and help corporations with new constructions.
For instance
Linking Words
, more and more countries
such
Linking Words
 as Italy or Greece are engaging citizens to move and buy real estate in small villages
helping
Punctuation problem
, helping
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 them not die out
,
Punctuation problem
;
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moreover
Linking Words
,
politics
Replace the word
politicians
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 promise to pay and support new residents for a bunch of time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, governments should develop the infrastructure by building new paths and expanding the territory of the city,
subsequently
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 reducing the number of issues. In conclusion, the overpopulation problem is increasing year by year all over the world and affecting
life’s
Check wording
the
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 quality. Some valuable methods are supporting countryside life and enlarging urban territories.

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task response
Answer all parts of the task. Start with a plan and then list steps for the solution.
coherence
Make the flow of ideas more clear. Use linking words and a new paragraph for each idea.
lexis grammar
Use easy word choice and fix common errors. For example, say 'growing problem' instead of 'more necessary problem'.
examples
Give clear examples and explain how each idea can help.
structure
Write in a simple shape: opening, 2 body parts, and a short conclusion.
structure
The essay has a clear start and end.
content
It gives some real life example and some ideas to fix the issue.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • urbanization
  • natural population growth
  • infrastructure development
  • balanced regional development
  • tax incentives
  • public transport systems
  • traffic management
  • urban planning
  • family planning initiatives
  • congestion
  • amenities
  • mass migration
  • birth rate
  • death rate
  • suburban
  • overcrowding
  • healthcare
  • education
  • construction sector
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