Most Children want to watch the same TV programmes or play the same video games as their friends. Do you think parents should allow their children to do this ?

#children #tv #programmes #video #games #friends #parents

A lot of

Correct your spelling

children

childrent

Correct your spelling

children

copycate

Correct your spelling

copycat

copycats

their

friends

Change noun form

friend's

friends'

show examples

likes in TV

Correct your spelling

programmes

programs

programes

Correct your spelling

programmes

or video

games

. There are some

Correct your spelling

reasons

resons

Correct your spelling

reasons

why I believe

parents

should not allow their

children

to do

this

. Namely, they may watch and play unsuitable

Correct your spelling

programmes

programs

programes

Correct your spelling

programs

and

games

, it is assumed they do not learn to make choices and always want to copy their friends

tast

Correct your spelling

that

tasting

toast

However

, some people have different points of view that will be discussed in the following essay. Watching and playing the same as their mate have some drawbacks for

children

Initially

those entertainment

Change the determiner

that entertainment

those entertainments

show examples

may not be good for their age and

also

may

Correct your spelling

contain

content

containt

Correct your spelling

contain

violent

Correct your spelling

scenes

sciences

science

scences

Correct your spelling

scenes

and concepts that have harmful effects on their minds.

For instance

, some video

games

are full of violence

Add the comma(s)

,in

show examples

addition, they may persuade

children

to copy them.

Additionally

, they will not learn to make choices because they copy their

friends

Change to a genitive case

friend's

friends'

show examples

likes and never make decisions for

themeself

Correct your spelling

themself

himself

thus

it could reduce their

self confidence

Add a hyphen

self-confidence

show examples

On the other hand

, it is believed that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

parents

should allow their

children

to do it

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

firstly

they are

Change preposition

show examples

the age that

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

to experience

the same ages entertainment

Change to a genitive case

the entertainment of the same ages

the entertainment of the same age

show examples

and if

parents

forbiden

Correct your spelling

forbidden

forbid

them they may watch and play those types of movies and

games

witout

Correct your spelling

without

their

parents

knowing.

Secondly

, they are likely to be

Correct your spelling

separated

seperated

Correct your spelling

separated

from their classmates

Correct your spelling

because

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

they can not participate in their

disscutiones

Correct your spelling

dissections

Correct your spelling

about

obout

Correct your spelling

about

those kinds of hobbies. In conclusion, because of

bad

Correct article usage

the bad

show examples

effects that may

Correct your spelling

caused

coused

Add a missing verb

be coused

show examples

by those

Correct your spelling

programmes

programs

programes

Correct your spelling

programmes

and

games

parents

should not allow their

children

to choose them without thinking .

Submitted by ranjbari4526 on Tue Aug 16 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?
Using Social media, individuals these days, keep themselves informed of the latest information and events around them, while at the same time keeping in close contact with their friends and family members. In my opinion, I believe the advantages brought by social media of increased convenience and effectiveness far outweigh any minor shortcomings that it might bring.
5
band
some people believe that in a city the best way is to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. discuss both views and give your opinion
Nowadays, travelling has been increasing at an alarming rate. On the one hand, people argue automobiles can be considered as the preferred method of transportation in urban cities while on the other hand, they think bicycles are more preferable. In my opinion, I firmly believe automobile serves better due to its safety and convenience.
7.5
band
Some people believe that in the future, environmental problems will mean that we are unable to live on this planet. In order to survive, the human species will need to find another planet that can support life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
In the 21st century, the environmental pollution is ever-increasing. Some people hold the view that experts need to find some other planets that can support life for humans predicting challenges to live on the Earth in future if such a problem happens continuously. I totally disagree with that argument.
5
band
Some people prefer to go to health clubs and gyms for health care, some say the walking and climbing stairs are more effective. Discuss both vies and give your opinion.
A number of people choose joining the gym membership or health communities in order to mantain their healthy life, while the remain of them think that walking and climbing stair are more beneficial. In my opinion, going the gyms or sport clubs will be useful if they do this consistantly. However, doing some regular movements such as walking and climbing will be more efficient.
7.5
band
You have been looking for a job and have seen a job advertisement for a part-time position. Write a letter to the employer. In your letter explain why you need the job; describe your skills and qualifications; say what days you are available.
I am writing to express my interest in the part-time accountant position that you advertised on your website. I am confident that my knowledge and skills in the field of accounting make me the ideal candidate for this job.

Most Children want to watch the same TV programmes or play the same video games as their friends. Do you think parents should allow their children to do this ?

Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

some people believe that in a city the best way is to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that in the future, environmental problems will mean that we are unable to live on this planet. In order to survive, the human species will need to find another planet that can support life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people prefer to go to health clubs and gyms for health care, some say the walking and climbing stairs are more effective. Discuss both vies and give your opinion.

You have been looking for a job and have seen a job advertisement for a part-time position. Write a letter to the employer. In your letter explain why you need the job; describe your skills and qualifications; say what days you are available.