Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can care of their children, while others think childcare centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#families #parents #members #grandparents #care #children #childcare #centres

Currently,

dual income

Add a hyphen

dual-income

show examples

families are increasing in number. For

this

reason, it is important to consider who can take care of

children

. People have two different

viewpoint

Change to a plural noun

viewpoints

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

matter.

However

, some people think that

grandparents

play

indispensable

Add an article

an indispensable

show examples

role in

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

upbringing, while others think that nursery schools

Change the verb form

are

show examples

the best choice. I hold the view that

second

Correct article usage

the second

show examples

idea is better. On the one hand, it is argued that due to both

parents

Change noun form

parent's

parents'

show examples

work, so as not to remain uncontrolled,

children

are taken care of by other family members,

such

grandparents

. Actually,

this

is both thrifty and safer because

parents

rely on family members.

Consequently

this

makes

parents

cozy

Change the spelling

cosy

show examples

Secondly

, it is irrefutable that being

care

Wrong verb form

cared

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

grandparents

enable

Correct subject-verb agreement

enables

show examples

children

to learn their family tradition nearer.

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

result

Change preposition

apply

show examples

being informed about their previous generation and

family

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,family

show examples

activities will help them to keep

alive

Add an article

the alive

show examples

family culture.

On the other hand

, I firmly believe that

grandparents

don't have adequate experience to look after

children

, even some of them are physically feeble and inactive,

hence

parents

have sufficient reasons to put their

children

in childcare

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

. Actually, one of the main advantages of nursery

school

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schools

show examples

is that they have trained staff who have enough practical ability to grow a child.

Furthermore

, childcare

centers

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centres

show examples

offer

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

which comes interesting to

children

Moreover

Change preposition

apply

show examples

spending time with

another

Replace the adjective

another child

other children

show examples

children

gives an opportunity to improve their communication

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

. To conclude, both of them are up to the

parents

and family

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

Although

how much

grandparents

are safer for

children

, childcare

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

have professional

team

Fix the agreement mistake

teams

show examples

and

to be

Change the verb form

being

show examples

looked after by experts will be beneficial for them to adapt

society

Change preposition

to society

show examples

easily in the future.

Submitted by malikli.malik1995 on Tue Aug 16 2022

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can care of their children, while others think childcare centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, students' concentration in the classroom has decreased. What are the reasons for this? What are some possible solutions?

Although nowadays many people have access to sports facilities, modern lifestyles are becoming less and less active. What problems are associated with this? How can people be persuaded to have a more active lifestyle?

Topic: In some countries, an increasing number of children are overweight or obese as a result of eating too much fast food. Banning fast food from school canteens is the best way to fight this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. do you think is a positive or a negative development?

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skill such as communication and working in the teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills ?