IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that the information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests #minutes
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The bar charts illustrate the percentage of male and female residents in India and France according to their
age
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 group. Overall, it is clear from the graphs, that the main part of
Indian
Correct article usage
the Indian
show examples
 population is made
by
Change preposition
of
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 young people, while the distribution of residents across the
age
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 groups is more homogeneous
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the numbers of young and old Frenchmans are near to equal. One key difference between these countries is the fact, that the part of
elderly
Add an article
the elderly
show examples
 population in France is significantly higher than in India, as the values of residents, who are aged 70 or over, reach 12% and 3% correspondingly.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the ratio between male and female populations in these countries
also
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 isn't similar. In India, there is no difference in
this
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 criterion across all of the
age
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 groups, whereas in some ages the number of french females prevails the males, so that, generally, France tends to have more women than men.
For instance
Linking Words
, about 3% of Frenchmans are women in
age
Use synonyms
 35-40, while in the same only 2,5% are men in the same category.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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