Task 1 Academic Graph charts show various activities in a US office in 1980 , 2000

Task 1 Academic

Graph charts show various activities in a US office in 1980 , 2000
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The Given table,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
presents the figure for
workers
and industries in two different countries Wales and England from the year1851 - 1901. Generally speaking,
although
the male employee dominated female
workers
, the trend of
overall
employment reduced in 50 years.
However
, the
number
of industries had increased with time, unlike
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
. Now. turning to the details, At the beginning of 1851, there were 477,100 total
workers
where more than 287,100 were composed
men
Change preposition
of men
show examples
and 190,000 were female in 225 industries. With the change in time, both the gender
workers
had fallen significantly over the years and
hence
resulted in declined
overall
employment
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
from about forty-seven lakhs to sixty-one thousand.
Further
, a considerable plummet of
workers
for both gender was observed in the year 1871.
Nonetheless
, on contrary, the
number
of factories has inclined sufficiently from 225 in 1851 to 600 in 1901 regardless of fewer
workers
. In fact, the
number
of job opportunities might had widen
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
due to
a larger
number
availability factories.
Submitted by tyangki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • traditional activities
  • digital activities
  • emergence
  • significant changes
  • technological progress
  • business practices
  • evolving communication methods
  • surprising findings
  • shaped
  • speculate
  • observed data
What to do next:
Look at other essays: