Academic Graph charts show various activities in a US office in 1980 , 2000

Academic Graph charts show various activities in a US office in 1980 , 2000
IELTS Writing Task Chart for Academic Graph charts show various activities in a US office in 1980 , 2000
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The Given table,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
presents the figure for
workers
Use synonyms
and industries in two different countries Wales and England from the year1851 - 1901. Generally speaking,
although
Linking Words
the male employee dominated female
workers
Use synonyms
, the trend of
overall
Linking Words
employment reduced in 50 years.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
of industries had increased with time, unlike
laborers
Change the spelling
labourers
show examples
. Now. turning to the details, At the beginning of 1851, there were 477,100 total
workers
Use synonyms
where more than 287,100 were composed
men
Change preposition
of men
show examples
and 190,000 were female in 225 industries. With the change in time, both the gender
workers
Use synonyms
had fallen significantly over the years and
hence
Linking Words
resulted in declined
overall
Linking Words
employment
Use synonyms
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
from about forty-seven lakhs to sixty-one thousand.
Further
Linking Words
, a considerable plummet of
workers
Use synonyms
for both gender was observed in the year 1871.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, on contrary, the
number
Use synonyms
of factories has inclined sufficiently from 225 in 1851 to 600 in 1901 regardless of fewer
workers
Use synonyms
. In fact, the
number
Use synonyms
of job opportunities might had widen
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
due to
Linking Words
a larger
number
Use synonyms
availability factories.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words workers, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • traditional activities
  • digital activities
  • emergence
  • significant changes
  • technological progress
  • business practices
  • evolving communication methods
  • surprising findings
  • shaped
  • speculate
  • observed data
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