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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

with the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. what solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?

#development #media #youngsters #access #internet #chat #friends #situations
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With the rapid development of social media platforms, youngsters have been overexposed to society making them potential victims of cyberbullying.
Hence
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, in my opinion, parents must take control of the situation by applying solutions like activating parental control systems and educating their kids to get protection
while
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 interacting with the systems.
To begin
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 with, one of the practical solutions that parents might need to consider is, activating parental control mechanisms on these websites.
This
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 feature allows grownups to collect data about what their children do on these platforms.
For example
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, Facebook allows fathers and mothers to receive data about their chats and the page
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
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 of their kids.
Moreover
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, they can even block some specific features that they might feel that these kids should not have
while
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 using these add-ons.
Secondly
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,
in addition
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 to parental controls, another solution that adults can consider is educating their juveniles to protect them against cyber crimes that they might face.
For instance
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, in the UK, they have started teaching a separate module at their schools to educate children to get knowledge about the methods that they can use against threats that they can get
while
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 using these websites.
As a result
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 of
this
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 procedure,
now
Rephrase
apply
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they have been able to experience a significant drop in crimes that their student
involves
Wrong verb form
are involved
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 in
while
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 using the internet to socialize.
To conclude
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, though the technology gets developed in social media platforms, parents must take responsibility for protecting their juveniles by activating parental restriction features and educating the
youngers
Correct your spelling
youngsters
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 about the threats that they might get
while
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getting
Verb problem
apply
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interacting with unknown people.
Submitted by sprabasara on

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task response
The essay addresses the task prompt and provides relevant solutions to the problem. However, the focus on cyberbullying could be further developed to encompass a wider range of potential dangers on social media.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph is well-connected, and the ideas are sequentially arranged. However, there is a need to further develop the transition between ideas and provide more explicit connections between sentences and paragraphs.
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